It seems now it has become so hard for me to express into words what really is INSIDE me.  I’m afraid that I’ll just continue blogging about non-sense things, as always, which don’t necessarily speak of my true being since I’ve been always relating the being of others, circumstances of whatever aspect of a thing which also don’t necessarily speak about me in toto.  I’ve been writing ever so clearly, as if there has been an organized pattern running within my life, but sometimes I write for a hidden purpose to hide my real self and to tell you friends that nothing’s well organized within me and even the pattern I was talking about could hardly be detected or shall I declare non-existent for a while…  I’ve come finally to a realization that the life I’ve been living isn’t life at all intended by this said to be conspiring Universe.  It has been a pretty long time since I wake up so early in the morning to simply listen to a Pandesal vendor’s voice stressing his throat out just to sell all his pandesals for living since I’ve been unreasonably staying up so late at night ‘till sun rises.  My spiritual life is undeniably nil that I have not gone to mass since time immemorial.  I’ve spent much wasted time drooling myself into Net for hours not realizing how many times I’ve cheated the very essence of time.  With these things clogging inside my already clogged being, isn’t it fake on my whole part to say all these things under the negative aspect of my being if one recognizes that I’ve been writing things about anything positive in this whole crappy nook??  The writer himself “admittedly” is NO positive!  With these things I’ve just confessed I’ll give the one “infinite claps” if he says that I have not only lost my integrity as a human being but the sanity of my very soul who always does the crazy talking…  Yes, call me fake, crazy, or whatever you may want to call me to freely project one’s angst and it’s all legit, that blow is well-deserved by the fakeness of me.

Why can I sincerely appreciate the beauty within others if I, myself, can’t appreciate the beauty within me??  I appreciate, for instance, the morning presence of the Pandesal vendor who is always waking up early in the morning just to feed his hungry neighbors with his hot special pandesals while I'm still in "slight confusion" where I'm heading to for me to ultimately sell my own pandesal anxiously wondering at the same time if my pandesal is as special as his?  Why am I continuing to disgust those Catholic people who go to mass just for the sake of finding a dream date if I, myself, have never stepped even a toe to God’s temple since time, I can’t even remember!  And why do I adore contemporary Philosophers who have realized, through their profound understanding of almost all things under the Sun, the negative effects of technology/modern civilization if I myself have been going crazy just to find coins in this house to buy once again an Internet card which sad to say has been some sort of a Sun to me that I revolve my whole "earthly body" around it??  When can I finally live a life with pattern, organized enough to keep my "integrity" intact again, to share something positive from a fully-positive heart so to speak??  So it has been no SURPRISE to me why the big man upstairs have been prolonging my sufferings NOW and then (at this very moment even) in my life and He’ll only perhaps put an end to this cycle of battering me to the depths of my already bloodied soul if and only if I come to Him through listening well to the beat of my cold heart.  The sound of my heart indeed has no material difference to the sound of sea shells chanting the nearness of vast oceans…  Oh God let me find serenity amidst trials weakening me and that will weaken me more.  Help me sleep regularly so I could finally hear the Pandesal vendor’s morning ritual.  Though I will not always visit your holy temple to listen to Your enlivening words, let me just put you into my heart always all the time even at times I’m in the toilet chanting the humanly mantra of ohhhhhh  !  Help me realize further and even longer the disastrous effects of too much surfing the Net or getting always on the hook of vast technological progress as this has been one BIG thing that has parted our relationship.  Call me fake, call me crazy, that blow is again and again well-deserved by the fakeness of me, but never will God throw a big UNBEARABLE punch (scaring the hell out of me) to an unfathomable somebody who has successfully contemplated that life is indeed worth living and simple things in this organized pattern called life will ultimately make me eternally complete, disintegrated still, torn as I may aptly call it, "insecure," YET soon to become whole again!  ~~ AMEN ~~

Again, I just had a PETTY argument with my Paps lately, but it was just a petty argument and as always we had again realized to calm ourselves down because if we didn’t then things could have been seriously gone worse, funny thing IS that we only were arguing about little stuff that should not, at the first place, be the proximate cause of any argument whatsoever.  But again it is just a petty one, no big deal, and here I am again blogging, delaying, with another real grin on my newly-hairdo face !  Admittedly, it was my fault because I’m fond of manufacturing problems even with no raw materials inventoried.  In short, I was like arguing against him to again create petty problem like this that if I’ll just shut my mouth, a thing like this that had destroyed my evening could have NOT gone that far!  Forgive me if I get moody sometimes, it is just a natural human phenomenon, inevitable thus tolerable!  It started out when my sister asked help about a Math problem to me and so I began teaching her but I got irritated because as I was teaching her she was insisting that her absurd way of solving the problem should be done ONLY that way and I continued insisting as a defense that her absurd way of solving it is not EVEN the “way.”  So I got a little annoyed to her and just stopped teaching because I don’t like her attitude of asserting her absurd way of solving it as if she was more of an Accounting student than me !!  Lesson is: don’t ever get yourself into a problem if there’s really no problem at all, it is but schizophrenic, how I wish she didn't just seek my help after all "just not" to trigger the groovy ah este moody part of me .  Too much for that!  Ano bang nakain ko at bigla akong nag-english hehe??  'La lang baka kasi mabasa ng tatay ko eh medyo mahina pa "comprehension" niya sa mga ganitong English kasi nag-crash course siya kanina sa grammar at sa katanuyan pa nga bumili pa siya ng libro na talagang PARANG pambata eh kulang na nga lang maging cover nito ay Blue's Clues para hindi na maging "parang" hehe.  Ang title ba naman kasi: "Be your own English teacher!  Grammar Review" hayzz.  Tsaka isa pa may nabasa na naman akong konyo na blog, at may narealize ako BIGLA na hindi lang pala sila nakakatawa, nakakahawa pa, kaya nag-english ako kasi nga rin hindi maiintindihan ni Paps ang bagong style ng English ngayon (Konyotic English) harhar!!  I don't hate them for being that of course (being conyo) because I have come to a "belief" that it is a major part of their expressive self, expressing themselves or more appropriately telling the whole world how financially-sufficient they are and it is nonetheless natural to them!  Hayzz, how this blogging thing has opened a window for me to get a glimpse on them and sarcasm aside, believe me, I thank them for not just entertaining me but getting an idea how the Universe conspired and life has been so ever kind to them like getting coffee from Starbucks, leading me just to a further realization when can I buy my own Starbucks coffee, kasi lagi na lang kape na timpla ni Janice ang gabi-gabi kong natitikman hehe ...  I simply want to taste that luxurious coffee for experience BUT DO not mean that I'm planning to be addicted to it as time pass, ibibigay ko na lang sa Charity ang isang daan ko at may mapapakain pa siguro akong isang pamilya!

Classes has started!!  As much as possible I will not relate my studies MUCH to this blog, though it is a BIG part of me but for personal purposes from now on (as much as possible) let me just include here in this blog LIVING life in general, trying to be more versatile on sharing every facets of it, thus triggering balance, acquiring peace of mind amidst stressful studies of mine, and especially finding my inner being or simply finding what LIFE really is and still I'm enjoying this trek in search of my own treasure, and that treasure has been buried down DEEP!!  Is it happiness?  Getting a clue from my previous statement, it is somewhat clear that this blog, from now on, will and must only be the outlet of what I feel about the world, and THEREFORE to develop the "writer" within me is what I must do aside from my studies.  As I've said, that is my only and immortal frustration or shall I say regret -- to be a writer, publish my thoughts but that isn't important!  Again and again, I'm getting serious...  Tama na muna hehe aral pa ako ng Taxation bukas hehehe !!

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Google Earth is FUN!!  Download it to get your own HERE for FREE...  Medyo mahaba ang downloading process kaya be patient na lang hehe and as always read about the min. requirements to make it compatible to your PC, from processor requirements to graphics, of course Internet speed and even 56K will do...

Map of Manila directly from a satellite captured three years ago, really cool, sige nga hanapin niyo ang QC Circle hehe  

Why do such things get so f*cked UP!!!  Bad trip!!  Tang 'na!!  Dahil dito hindi na naman ako nakapasok sa klase ngayon, from the start of my classes, I have met NO professor yet, absent ako last Monday, the very first day, I went to school yesterday para makabawi, but there was no prof, TODAY, things get so f*cked up and no matter what I do, I can't go to class today though I want to...  As usual, ABSENT na naman ako, what a really bad impression on me (shame on me), ano na lang ang sasabihin sa 'kin ng mga kaklase ko lalo na si Loren at siyempre prof??!!??  Short-term lang naman 'tong problema kong 'to pero sana naman 'wag nang maulit!!  Pagkagising ko kasi wala silang lahat dito, pagkagising ko nagtanong ako kung ano ang ulam sa katulong namin at sabi niya WALA, tanong ko, "walang iniwan na pera man lang??"  Sagot niya ay WALA!!  THEY don't seem to care at hahayaan ko na lang bang mamatay sa gutom ang dalawa pang kasama ko sa bahay!!  I believe it's no accident, it happens for a reason, problema lang talaga...  Kaya ito ako, just sacrificed another day of learning just to feed them and liberate them from hunger hehe (parang famine e 'no? )  Kagabi bad trip, ngayon bad trip na naman...  Takte may recitation pa sa Tax!!  Okey lang hindi naman ako nag-aral eh hehe, wala rin kahit pumasok pa ako!!  But of course, I'm for the "learning" per se not necessarily for the opportunity to be called for that recitation to get a grade somehow!!  Hay trials nga naman!!  But as always, being a certified positive thinker, naniniwala ako na aayus din ang lahat to normal...  SANAY na ako dito, paslit pa lang ako...  Dahil sa overwhelming presence ng mga problema ko, I have learned to count my "blessings" no matter how badly outnumbered they are by my overwhelming problems!  I believe that the BEST is yet to come for me, all I have to do for now is to be PATIENT!!  That's a good thing about problems, no matter how overwhelmingly unlikely they are, they have a "side" exclusively for associating something good to it!  It could be a really good thing of getting oneself closer to God..  Patience is a virtue and it's just a matter of time alone until things will get back to normal...

Gusto kong magsulat about the value of patience.  It is widely understood but could not be easily converted into words.  It makes no difference if I'll just make the words "value of patience" to "rewards of waiting."  'Pag nagmamadali ang isang tao, anong posibleng mangyari, halimabawa na lang LATE ka na sa school at naturally ika'y magmamadali, 'di ba?  Anong posibleng mangyari??  Kung hindi ka naman malilimutin, 'di ba malaki ang posibilidad na mayroon kang bagay na pwedeng makalimutan??  At para hindi na naman maging SABOG 'tong article ko hehe  i-relate ko na siya kaagad sa OPPORTUNITY na pwedeng mawala dahil sa pagmamadali...  Related dito ay ikwekwento ko ang nangayari sa 'kin last year nung 2nd year pa ako.  Lagi akong late nung 2nd year ako at dahil dun lagi akong nagmamadali pumasok, may isang araw dahil sa pagmamadali ko, may nakalimutan akong napaka-importanteng bagay, un ung take-home quiz sa Economics na malaki ang mawawala sa 'kin kapag hindi ko nadala sa araw na 'yon, kaya eun, ginawa ko na lang ay BUMALIK pa ako ng bahay at nasa "delta" na ako bumaba at tumawid ako sa kabilang lane para makasakay muli pabalik sa 'min  para kunin ko ang quiz na un..  Nasayang ang pamasahe siyempre, pagod pa ako, at higit sa lahat hindi ako nakapasok sa first subject which is English at that time...  Nakuha ko siya at pumasok ako ulit, so nakarating na ako sa 2nd subject which is Economics at ang mas nakakaasar pa eh nang nakarating ako medyo na-late pa ako, sabay HINDI PINAPASA ang lintik na quiz na 'yan, potahhhh kinuha ko pa sa bahay kung mag-didiscuss lang siya ng bagong lesson at ang masaklap pa LALO e ung English na hindi ko pinasukan ay nagkaroon pa ng listening quiz, lang 'ya naman!!  Ganon din, kahit umuwi pa ako para balikan ang quiz na 'yan may nawala pa ring malaki sa 'kin, 'yang English test na 'yan!!  Anong aral??  When you lose the value of patience, you'll definitely lose something!!  Kung ihahambing ko 'to sa video na finaFAST-forward, 'di ba, napakabilis ng mga pangyayari and obviously you're missing one great scene, no one knows..  At walang pinagkaiba 'to sa buhay ng tao, halimabawa na lang sa nangyari sa 'kin last year that I've just shared, I definitely missed something important kasama na ang pera at ang pagod dahil sa pagmamadali ko!  At pag galit sa 'yo ang Universe eh may mawawala pa sa 'yo that is FAR greater than wasted energy and money...  Kaya hindi kailangang madaliin ang mga bagay-bagay sa mundo!  Kung halimbawa lang bigla kang napadpad sa Europe, particularly sa Paris, France at nagising ka sa ilalim ng Eiffel Tower pagkagising mo I bet you definitely will wish for the time TO STOP!!  Because that's the "beauty of the moment" and reconstructing it, "capture the beauty of the moment" from the mighty immortal words of my favorite English teacher when I was in Highschool...  Same thing goes with the value of waiting, if you try to run things FAST, you might not capture the beauty of the moment and if you believe in "signs" or looking for some to be some sort of a source of your decision-making, and you let again things run FAST, then you definitely will miss one of it, producing just an UNWISE decision!  That's the simple importance of the value of patience or the rewards one can get by just waiting, it's the very essence of life...

So from that viewpoint, in life sawang-sawa na ako at malamang kayo rin sa kasabihang in life nga there are ups and downs!  Dahil ilang mga friends ko ang nakakaintindi siguro sa kalagayan ko, halos marami na akong na-rereceive na text message about life's purpose and everything will soon be fine, TOTOO silang lahat kahit nakakasawa!  Medyo may kalakihan 'tong problema ko ngayon, starting from uncertainty, pressure, and I hope it will not lead to hopelessness...  Eveything indeed has its own purpose hehehe nakakasawa mang pakinggan at kung PUMASOK siguro ako ngayon, hindi ko 'to maisusulat (malamang) to share the value of patience, how important it is, to others who NEED and will need it sometime!!  That was the purpose *maybe* of being absent today, just to share a rant hehe...   

Hindi ko na maalala kung kailan pa nagsimula 'tong pag-papantasya ko sa ISANG bagay!  Masasabi ko na hindi ito ordinaryong pantasya lang tulad ng sa iba na may pantasya silang maging "boss" sa isang kumpanya at maraming "utusan" mayroon din ako niyan (malamang hehe ) pero MABABAW pa ang mga ganitong pantasya sa isang MALALIM na taong tulad ko hehe!  Do you know what my fantasy is that has always been recurring often times epsecially when I go to bed??  Hehe!!  'Wag tayong mag-isip ng ibang kahulugan hehe , mayroon din ako ng ganyang klase pero hindi kailangang ibahagi pa hehe (gago 'kaw lang hehe)...  May I ask you (whoever is reading this entry) if you have tried fantasizing about yourself, ALREADY DEAD, and for a clear picture, imagining yourself already in the "death bed" but you are lively witnessing your loved ones, long-lost friends, and closest friends in the wake of your OWN funeral and some are weeping in tears??  While imagining this, honestly, I even cried to my "dead" self and imagining family and friends, especially not so close to me, who also are crying even though I had not much talked to many of them in a more personal/intimate level.  If my fantsasy will be real,  perhaps, I'll cry and ejaculate tears more than they do, because of extreme gratitude and happiness as well that I'll feel if ever that SADDEST moment would turn REAL!!  Who'll not cry if that very scenario will be laid before your eyes for you to witness??  Tapos na ang UNDAS pero November pa rin hehe kaya ko lang biglang naisip 'tong isulat!  'La lang naman .  And my favorite part on that fantasy is when my father will read a little and humble TRIBUTE about me, what I did in my own little way during my earthly life FOR the world in toto...  And laughably imagining how my father struggles so HARD to speak out the correct English pronounciation on every words on that "polished" tribute of his.  That great fantasy of witnessing even the animations of every animations during my wake, how my friends play cards while guarding my already peaceful body..  How they laugh towards my corny jokes that I used to crack on anyone of them and especially how they share to one another of how I have been always able to contribute in their lives through my humble ways when I used to walk on their unique paths...  In short, I even fantasize witnessing/hearing their each gossips about me, good or bad, it doesn't REALLY matter while they are happily and at the same time sadly bumming and reminiscing in my wake hehe...  AND I wonder if the girl, who I used to court and then just dumped me, will share to my network of friends (aka Friendsters hehe) of why SHE DUMPED ME, I'd like to know really, because even up to this time, (believe me or not) I still don't know the specific reason why and out of respect, I'll just bury that hatchet forever...  Giving me more reason therefore to WISH so hard for me to witness EVEN her ALONE and I wonder if she'll explain that BURIED reason finally for good when I'm already lying peacefully in the death bed...  Hope so, or else, I'll appear to HER finally as a ghost compelling her to simply tell me hehe (joke)...  And if ever my A&B professor in Accounting will be lost in my wake OR burial, I'll burst into tears if He'll apologize for his "shortcomings" as a professor that really have something to do with my FAILURE when I used to study hehe!!  How laughable and at the same time emotional that phantasm of mine seems, and if I'm in the mood of fantasizing it again, motions seem to be REAL that as I've said I even cried one time...       

For now, "JUST MY IMAGINATION," I always imagine "deep thoughts" like this, that I'll be coined as an INSANE person if one catches me laughing all by myself hehe...  FOR NOW, there's collectively no fatherly tribute, motherly weep, reminiscent friends, and of course BECAUSE, that is still a FANTASY and will remain as is and never will turn REAL in any ways, no scientific basis is furthermore provided for that matter hehe and only Intelligent Design...  Because it is FOREVER non-existent being against any laws of Nature, LIFE is always for me an ANIMATED/LIVELY motions of SCARCE sentiments and emotions, and answers that I still long to have will perhaps be buried forever..  Will there be heart-felt tributes, sharings of my wonderful being, and even a TRIBUTE for my BIG SMILE despite problems hehe, the insanely symbolic burying of my bleak past especially the father of all -- procrastination hehe, and much-awaited reason by the girl I used to love, when that SADDEST moment comes??? And since I'll never be able to witness/hear them when I become "dead", so still I wonder if those things will be present, maybe wondering until eternity, and except Heavens will magically FAVOR ME hehe ...  To all,  you'll never for sure know what you've got 'til it's gone...  You may highlight those words hehe as a sole LESSON for this article...  Babooo..  Pasok pa ako!!   Tang 'na bilis late na

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Incidental to this entry 'bout Death, browsing the WWE site, this really is a SAD day for all die-hard WWE fans like me...  Because Eddie Guerrero just passed away. 

  Thanks for the entertainment..  The world will not forget you...

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Sign ba 'to?? hehehehe...  'Wag naman sana, pagkatapos ko kasi i-post ang entry na 'to, nabasa ko 'to BIGLA kay Eddie hehe..  Diyos ko, 'wag naman sana... 

Just like any rights, failure isn’t ABSOLUTE.  Once in your life you maybe deprived of a particular right and the same thing goes with failure which you might get even you don’t deserve them both.  You maybe deprived of one essential right called Liberty which you don’t deserve being a human being and you might get a failure which you, also, don’t deserve as a striving student.  But sometimes right can be waived, right?  If a father rapes his own daughter and admits that grave offense, the right to life can be waived by him to give justice to her own daughter and therefore accepts the punishment of death.  Your right to get failure can also be waived to give justice to yourself…  Of course, once you get a failure in academics, there isn’t even a single thing that this can be waived, unlike a right, to let you pass.  It just makes a concrete humor if that would be insisted.  In my case, having failed a major subject in Accountancy, I got a failure and it is like a right granted to me to correct what is "deficient" and for me not to be a “clown” never in my whole damn life will I WAIVE it to let me pass because as I’ve said, there’s no such thing.  The point is, DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE, and in my own principle, let me just treat the whole mess PROSPECTIVELY.  Past can HAUNT you but it’ll never make one HALT!!!  Prospectively it is, if you care for the generation to come, then it is worth the fight...  Here goes the story...

To my friends in UST—Accountancy, take this fresh news from me CONFIDENTIALLY…  The fight to ULTIMATELY revert FAILURES to let those who “failed” academic units “pass” IS ON-GOING in a serious legal process with CHED, the land’s highest authority when it comes to this matter.  Honestly, I got this news straight from the horse’s mouth (the leader of the fight herself who had been a professor in the said College) and encouraging some students to help her bring about necessary justice to those who are said to be the “victims” of a defective system…  I read carefully and studied the arguments of the complaint/suggestion written, of course, reasons there are definitely well-guided and most important of all – generally TRUE…  BUT PLEASE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, LET THIS MATTER REMAIN CONFIDENTIAL!!  The complaint/suggestion mainly goes something like this that the whole system is geared "more" on topping the CPA Licensure exams in the national level and failure is more of a rule and passing is an exception on the whole student body to suffer.  Which according to the paper should "not" be the case and of course, the professor of a subject that I failed is the HEADLINE on that paper blaming the system which HASTILY picked up that “unseasoned” and even "incompetent" professor, showing only what the defect IS.  Indirectly showing up the “discriminatory” intent of the College to give seasoned professor to the “cream of the crop” and the unseasoned even incompetent ones to the next classes especially on the evening.  That could be true or even true at all but to ultimately revert the FAILURE is what I don’t favor if ever the case wins, personally and practically speaking…  Because it is hard to enforce at these times and would just give the Faculty a hard time to implement the proposed system.  Personally because I’ve channeled my FAILURE as a “corrective” action for me to ultimately pass the board exams and not mainly a fight to let my 5 be a 3!!  Practically because to prepare myself to the ultimate battle next, aside from the board, which are IAC and most importantly Auditing…  I will not just easily accept that I'll be getting a PASSING mark on the subject I failed without any further preparation MENTALLY on the said next battle especially that defect is mainly directed towards a bad professor and in this second sem I'm now taking, I got a good professor for a reason of course.  Thus, system's quite improving..  YET

Again, DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE, really painful as what I presently feel.  Reading and studying again this subject I failed that I could have not experienced only if I were a “survivor” of this great typhoon caused by the so-called defective system which I only presume a “discriminatory” act.  Traumatic isn’t it?  Yes, because I even pity myself, degrade even, made me feel INSECURE, asking myself always, why did I fail, is it because of my passion significantly losing its drive and rage just like my hair that also is significantly balding or just because I have low IQ??  Believe me even to that point of being so pitiful on myself the way I pity others who carry with them Cost Accounting books.  One thing I can do is sigh...  Emotional too about the fact that I'll GRADUATE(hopefully only) IRREGULARLY.  Delay is a waste, crap...

Again, DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE.  Just like a natural scar that doesn’t fade away and will be there as a “mark” for a long time.  My classmates who also failed cannot simply accept and deny the fact that they “failed” worrying about a bleak future when they’ll be interviewed at work with a red 5 definitely NOT a thing to brag/open about.

Lastly, my family has suffered enough FINANCIAL burden just to make me a CPA in the future with this school which undoubtedly has high standards.  Thus, I have come here to learn but when I went through this “majoring” I ask myself why are there no “equal protection of laws” just like Tax’s nature??  If the system of giving tests are DEPARTMENTALIZED it means nothing but a PROPER check and balance like the very object of the main divisions of a Presidential/Democratic government.  I believe in my humble opinion that there’s no proper check and balance because they are giving difficult/same tests without even checking and balancing at the same time if one section "falls" alarmingly and unluckily due to a bad professor or inefficiency at large and making corrective action only AFTER THE DAMAGE HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE…

Of course, I don’t discourage people to go on with the fight of “removing” their FAILURE to make it appear REGULAR just because I don’t have personal/practical reasons to go on fighting along with them.  They may have own reasons, of course, why they intend to do that so.  But I’m not saying though that I’ll not at all fight, I’m not blind, mind you, NOT to see the defects because I’m already a VICTIM.  If I’ll go on with this reasonable cause, the corrective action I’d like to achieve is NOT to PASS the subject I failed through legal/technical ways but I’m doing this for the generation yet to come not to make them "experience" once again this seemingly cyclical pain that has inflicted pain towards us the new 3a7…

The bottom line on that paper is that learning is a “leeway” to be enjoyed not necessarily a survival of the fittest thing to maintain that HIGH standard.  A very subjective argument that I, myself, can argue…  And the bottom line for this entry is that let us just continue fighting like a regular student does, meaning study NOW, don't worry much about the future since it's unknown, and let PAST be PAST.  And the only justice, for me, to be achieved is just to correct the known defects of the system in a "prospective" approach and never must this turn back to correct the "failed" mark I got, which I suppose I deserve 50% from its pie...   Aral na mga kaibigan, maniwalang aayus din yan hehe...   Patawarin na lang natin kung ano man ang naging depekto sadya man o hindi ng naturang Kolehiyo para maging tunay na Kristiyano ..

Say "Goodbye" to the old Underground Scribe and "hello" to Gibberish Ltd.  Officially the second version of my personal weblog...  An advance present to my "nearing" 20th birthday ...

I've finally made my new lay-out done.  Inspired from the lay-out of simplebits.com, I ripped-off some of its code, just its master CSS file to make my current layout appear exactly like it.  I coded the whole thing FROM SCRATCH!  It was a bit frustrating though, spending almost the whole morning from 12 midnight just to CENTER the whole thing to the screen.  Is this lay-out already centered to your screen??  Because we have different screen resolutions!  I think it already is no matter what your screen resolution is, wide or even narrow.  I had got that BIG problem just centering the whole thing to the screen, really...  I carefully looked at the codes, tirelessly changing the codes just to move "it" to the center almost every minute, but the sidebar kept on "residing" at the bottom of the CONTENT area and it didn't, most of the time, appear at the right side/beside the content where it is supposed to be appearing...  I had almost surrendered deciphering what the solution to the problem is, almost resigned to the sad fact that I will just keep my OLD lay-out finally for good.  BUT, I had become finally enlightened and AT LAST, I finally figured out what the problem was.  Funny thing is that the solution to the problem was JUST a SIMPLE one.  Here I am again a careless sh*t hehe.  Very elementary as a matter of fact, just a basic HTML rule that I've just AGAIN violated.  Really simple: I had just forgotten to CLOSE a tag hehe!!!  Because there were two DIV tags that I coded, one was for the "container" which will contain the whole thing to make it centered, and the other one was for the main content where this entry resides.  And I only put ONE closing tag despite the fact that there were actually two that need to be closed, so I failed to put another closing tag and the sidebar, as a result, kept on residing at the bottom of the content area as I've just said, though it floats to the right, it is not floating to the right exactly beside the content area...  This whole thing reminded me of when I was in 2nd year HS when I used to devote myself to computer programming.  Just failing to put a semi-colon for instance can really result to a frustrating output -- SYNTAX ERROR!!!   Lapse of logic as you may call it...

That really could be a lesson to be treasured.  Small things, like a single closing tag amidst "nauseous" codes, if forgotten or failed to see, can really be FRUSTRATING!!  Number 1 lesson is that I MUST not fail to see even this microscopic thing (no overlooking).  Because, I thought so hard for the solution in that mess, I even visited forums about web development just to make the whole thing appear as I intend to be and I'm not aware of the fact that I was just missing a simple thing to make the whole thing work.  Thus, that small closing tag will make a difference...  That exactly how life is to be lived, going to the ULTIMATE lesson number 2.  That despite complexities brought about by rapid technological progress, really a modern culture that has made many people stressful these days, we should not fail to SEE small things that can make us HAPPY and create wonders and even help us appreciate life's very meaning.  Like playing with your little sister, having a relaxing talk with your father, sharing secrets to dear friends, smiling at strangers, going out every morning to feel the heat/warmth of the sun, praying to God up above, and of course learning how to love and miss people whom we haven't seen for a very long time that really have walked significantly on our ways...  We must start to breathe and end to live.  Because "Living" nowadays has been largely associated to modern culture, technology stuffs, and if you happen to read the popular "Paradox of our Lives" you definitely can comprehend and contemplate even what I'm trying to share...  That the very aim of happiness or key to bliss is LUXURY.  What a very shallow dream, indeed!  Even though I'm missing NOW even my priority which is so-called studies, because I'm writing here again to postpone my review in Calculus, it's BUT right, studying sometimes could be so stressful and I MOSTLY give time to a very small and simple DEED called relaxing.  Because all work and no play makes me a DULL BOY!!!  Because of realizing that thing it even has helped me realize how handsome........ my realization is hehehe !!  That's all tsupmwahhugz !!