Vacuum: Defining MY 2005 Moments
If I'll be asked to define what the year 2005 is
to me, then the list goes on. But there's an undeniable highlight
of last year that undeniably tops all. Nothing beats that painful
event of FAILING a major Accounting subject. If you were in my
shoes who had not yet failed in academics before that came then you'll
understand what made that a HIGHLIGHT but definitely NEVER an attraction. So will "passing all subjects this semester" my greatest NEW YEAR'S resolution?? hehe. I really don't think that tops my list...
Almost all people make their New Year's resolution
every year. Some successfully did all of it before the year-end
and some sadly did not at all. Honestly, I haven't tried making a
New Year's resolution for myself and now I'm typing this very entry so
let me just try, I believe that somehow can help... When I looked
for the word "resolution" in my pocket dictionary, there are two different meanings of it that really suit its very idea. First meaning is "reSOLVING" and the second one was "firmness
of purpose." The two complement each other. Meaning to say,
without the second meaning, the first meaning would be quite impossible
because you have first to be "FIRM" with your purpose before you can
finally resolve anything... In matters of resolving anything,
there should be a PROBLEM! Problem-solving, simply put, is what I must call it... So going back to my self-inquiry earlier: Will "passing all subjects this semester" my greatest NEW YEAR'S resolution after what had painfully passed? Is there any problem directly attributed to that alone which can qualify that into my own list?? NO
hehe... "Passing all subjects" has ALWAYS never been the root
cause of any world problem that underline the presence of terrorists,
rapists, or murderers. When I got to know I failed a big subject,
yes the problem's SERIOUS (I'm aware of that) but there's no way I can turn back the hands
of time to resolve it. Besides, I don't ONLY have the 'fighting
spirit' to move on, I recovered pretty fast. So if it has been a
long time that I had recovered from that problem and already somehow
resolving it now, then that should not be the greatest NEW YEAR's
resolution... So will that mean I don't have any greatest NEW
YEAR'S resolution to share about?? hehe.. Of course, I have
it is just that I don't consider that as the greatest of all
hehe... And so what's my greatest of all?? hehe.. I
can't deny that this tops all:
SELF-DISCIPLINE (whapak who's your daddy?? hehe
) That's the greatest cure for all lazy freaks out
there. That may sound so simple but for me it's pretty
complicated. And, no wonder, I'm one of them hehe (lazy
freaks)... It is like I'm contained in a big box not daring to
"free" myself from it... My laziness has gone to greater degrees
to the point that this Christmas vacation, it seems that I'm afraid in
water, not daring to take a bath. I believe many Accounting
students today (not only in UST) have been enjoying their break by
studying even for an hour but how about me?? I didn't even mind
opening even a single page of my Tax book. I only studied Chapter
1 back then and that was it, some classmates have gone far from
that, I believe... So if there's one thing I badly need to resolve, it's to discipline myself... That could be the very root of the destruction of my future plans if ever I'll fail...
I pity the vacuum for it is empty. I
wish my mind was. It doesn't mean I'll try to empty what I've
studied hehe... It is just that many unnecessary things in my
mind that should be immediately cleared out for me to focus on what I
REALLY need to focus. Good thing, I've got over with some of them
but not all. And this new year has come, a good start to refresh
all things... Paolo Coelho said that a HABIT is not a NEED! So it's the time of year to change to who I really am, that I've still never figured out...
Posted at 01:58 PM in Reflections by rcdarang
2 Comment(s)
hehe..