Last night was Livre 2 Night.  A once in a year concert inside UST campus for a cause.  First POPULAR band who performed was Parokya.  Masaya wooo hehe!  Ang kulit pa nila sa una haha 'kala ko kakantahin nila ung "Para sa 'yo ang LABAN na 'to" ni People's Champ Manny "the PacMan" Pacquiao, hehe, sound check lang pala...  Siyempre ung Para sa 'Yo na bersyon nila ang una nilang tinugtog.  4 lang ang kinanta nila, ung Para sa 'Yo nga, Halaga, Mang Jose, tska Yes 2x Show, tama ba hehe??  Marami ring sikat na bands ang nag-perform, kasama SugarFree, 6-cycle mind, Imago, Brownman Revival, just to name a few...  For me, Parokya at Brownman Revival ang pinaka-astig!!  Astig din sana ung 6-cycle and SugarFree, but things had gone worse when the master volume of the sounds went "weak" when these two finally performed!  USTudents, thus, shouted, "Volume!!!"  Wooo, sexy talaga ni Ms. Imago haha!  What a party-person she is, sizzling HOT hehe.  Solve 2x talaga kami kay Aia habang sumasayaw, siya nga ba eun hehe!?  Their popular "Akap" song really deserves to be on TOP!  After the concert, half-disappointed because of the volume-issue on the latter part, I was with a friend(Tope)...  Nantsiks pa amp haha!!  Sinamahan ko kasi siya na i-meet na sa wakas ang ka-text niya magdamag sa concert, she's from Pharmacy('nde si ano ha? hehe)...  Tang 'na solve-solve siya, pati ako rin sa kasama naman ng ka-text ni Tope(ABabe) haha!!  Then we ate at Jollibee(24 hours), gabi na eun, mga past 12 am na kami kumain...  Then we just shared stories of interests haha!  Mga alas-dos na ako nakauwi sa bahay...  Kaya hindi na naman ako pumasok ngayon sa Acctg haha!  Well, in short, I enjoyed, minsan lang naman 'to sa buhay Acctg student hehe(kaya pagbigyan nyo na hehe)...  Marami nga palang tao sa concert(hehe just to be aligned to the title)...

Nagising ako mga past 12 na...  Nagising ako literally sa narinig ko bigla sa TV.  Sino bang hindi magugulat sa maraming taong namatay dahil lang sa stampede!??!  It's Wowowee's first anniversary celebration and instead of celebrating, we all are grieving.  Personally, I'm saddened with this big bad news!  Natutuwa ako sa show na 'to kasi hindi lang sila naghahatid ng saya sa mga manonood, marami ring natutulungang mahihirap ang show na 'to!  Wowowee, for a fruitful year, has really become a huge success.  And helping many Filipino people esp. the poor ones defines so well what "success" is for this show...  Pero naaasar TALAGA ako sa katotohanan na bakit pa kailangang humantong sa ganito na talaga namang hindi natin lahat gusto...  Obvious naman kung bakit nga naman nakakaburat.  Isipin nyo, para lang sa pagbabakasakaling swertehin sa mga papremyo,  talagang nagkapatayan na sa Ultra, makapasok lang!  This is BULLSHIT!!!  When CNN reported this big bad incident of stampede in Manila, I thought to myself this: "P*ta ganito na ba talaga ka-grabe ang kahirapan sa bansa natin."  Pumunta lang dun at sabay madisgrasya para lang sa PAMASAHE!!  NakakaGAGO!!  Then I immediately concluded that this really is a serious POLITICAL ISSUE.  Must our doomed government wait for this tragedy to happen to finally face the perhaps most-evident fact of this immortal POVERTY issue??  Just for money (even a small amount) will just result to this mass death!  Come to think of it and mere luck does not equalize this very serious consequence!  Nabaliw na nga ung isang na-interview eh na pumunta lang daw dun para sa pagbabakasakaling maging artista at makapareha si Alex Compton hehe...  Sira ulong bakla 'to hehe nagawa pang magpatawa...  Money isn't everything and self-sacrifice isn't love!  Labo 'no hehe??  Let's just pray for the good souls arising from this casualty and hope na sana hindi na maulit pa...  Marami ring tao dito(kaya nga stampede eh hehe, again just to be aligned to the title)...     

Sikat si bossing Socrates sa "immortal" na kasabihang: "Know thyself."  Even up to this time, it's more than just a "saying," it's Philosophy.  I'm on the verge of UNloving myself(no wonder this whole thing started when I failed a major Accounting subject) IF NOT for one Tickle test.  That somehow made a difference.  The test I took was a CLASSIC IQ test.  It says there that the test is an accurate measurement of intelligence and indeed it really is...  BUT after I had taken that test for I think about 30 minutes, a  very brief yet conclusive result came and I was very SURPRISED with it.  I really wasn't expecting that I'll do GREAT in Math.  And guess what, I surprisingly DID!  Come on bre, the result must be KIDDING!  I took the test bravely personally because if ever I've finally found out(through this) that I have a LOW IQ, then I would just be left UNmotivated(as always)...  IF I would have gotten a LOW score especially in Maths, it's not very impossible for me to finally shift to other enjoyable courses from this(Accountancy)...  But life's full of surprises...  While painstakingly trying to answer each item there, I thought the obvious LINGUISTIC questions "were" one BIG JOKE haha(sa 'kin ha? hehe).  But the Math questions there, armed with a calculator and a piece of scratch paper, were VErY challenging and not relatively as EASY as you might think(hate to say that hehe).  Hence, I was quite UNsure on the answers I chose for each Math question.  So when the result finally came saying that I'm a PRECISION PROCESSOR, I wasn't contented with that description alone(there was no definition) aside from the fact? that I did GREAT in Math and in Logic.  When I clicked "something" that would view a comprehensive test result(a lengthy 15-page), just to find out what the hell Precision Processor means as well as the correct answers to the test, damn it should be PURCHASED for as far as I can remember, 'bout 12 dollars?!  So, there's nothing for me to do 'bout it and I'm somehow thankful that the SCORE itself is NOT for purchase...  Days passed AND:

As I checked my email today, Tickle sent me a message saying that: I'm a TOP-SCORER on its CLASSIC IQ test and what surprises me even better is the fact that being the one who got a high score, I'll be able to retrieve FOR FREE the comprehensive test result which is, as a rule, NOT FREE!  So I followed a few instructions there that will eventually lead me to my FREE report(web advertisers' condition)..  And come on, this must be kidding, the lengthy comprehensive result which costs about 12 dollars? popped out in my screen haha(I'd definitely prefer to just cash this out).  NOW, I know what the hell Precision Processor means haha.  No need for me to share the details of it but Tickle says that I did great in Math.  And I'm therefore suited to be an Accountant(yahoooo hehe)...  I scored 90 percentile in Math meaning I scored higher than 80%-90% of people who took this same test but the unbelievebale 10%-20% of people scored higher than me.  The lowest percentile I got was the Visual-Spatial thing, though I found the tests under this thing EASY.  I hope that doesn't lie.  And after getting the FREE report, the test I took few days back was given back to me and from there I could find out the items I answered right as well as the items I answered wrong.  This made me satisfied because the measure isn't at all lying.  And in the latter part of the report, it says there how they computed it and where they got the questions(sa Mensa ang iba, and in this international org, qualification's extremely RIGID)..  By the way this already is becoming a novel again hehe and I'm still not sharing what score I got.  Well, I honestly got 122.  Relatively a so-so hehe because that may NOT be "HIGH" to the standards of others..  Just go to Tickle if you want to take this test and allocate at least 30 minutes for it and CONCENTRATE.  The test isn't so easy.  It really triggers your mind to work.  If you want to get the comprehensive result for free then AIM HIGH hehe but no matter what your score will be, the score isn't for purchase and hence you'll get to know it after answering all the questions.

 (click to enlarge)

On taking such test however, this isn't the sole basis of your intellectual skills.  Factors like hunger really can affect the result hehe.  No matter what, this helps.  But I believe there's no such thing as HEREDITARY genius.  Genes can help but not TOTALLY.  I believe 100% that "experience" counts!  When I'm still in High School where I hated the Math subject so bad, my IQ result said that I'm good at LINGUISTICS which I can easily accept and NEVER at Math.  And when I had become a boring business student, things changed and it has been a major overhaul.  Studying lessons that mainly involve Math that I can't help for this is the path I chose to take, thus, CONTRIBUTES.  Ultimately, experience brought that result to "good."  No wonder, I'm a bit overwhelmed(kahit mababaw hehe) with the fair result I got plus the fact that Tickle offered me to view the result-to-be-bought amazingly FOR FREE as an incentive of being a top scorer...  Bit overwhelmed to the fact that everything is falling into place and that I'm already in this road where I can excel at if ONLY I would choose to...  Again, know thyself.

Before the main topic, let me blog hehe.

I can't stand to watch this WWE Raw on TV with this heavy heart I've had for I'll not be able to go to Araneta Coliseum to finally see its superstars wrestle here LIVE.  It really saddens me for I'll not be able to hear Cena's rap that will definitely delight enthusiastic Filipino fans.  I'll not be able to raise my hands up high when Flair goes to the ring while shouting "Woooooo" as well as hear the entrance song of Triple H that has served as my "personal" energizer.  When I mean "I'll not be able" it means nothing else but the FINANCIAL thing(what else hehe?)...  I'll not be able to catch them all LIVE here in our own soil because I'm NOT FINANCIALLY ABLE TO DO SO(as simple as that)...  Too BROKE for that to materialize *sighs*.  It has been a long time since I first dreamed for that to happen and when it will REALLY happen this very month, circumstances just don't allow me to finally bring my ass on that fiery ringside seat hehe.  It costs 10 thou plus I think, doesn't it?  Even though I'm earning my own money now from a profession, 10 thou is JUST too difficult to surrender just for non-sense entertainment(notwithstanding our economic condition), isn't it hehe?  You may start wondering why the hell I'm dying to watch them all LIVE despite its non-sensical nature.  Well, my equally non-sensical CHILDISH ways still "stuck" within me COULD probably answer that hehe...  As weird as it may seem but everytime I take a bath, I sing Triple H's entrance song, put some water inside my mouth and blow it up haha(still can't perfect that astig gesture haha)...

I skipped another class in Accounting today.  Yeah, I was absent once again hehe.  Thank God the quiz was moved and I would have attended to this class today, if the quiz was not postponed.  But it was.  So I had already known this "good news" before I made my decision NOT to attend...  Reason's simple: I FEEL LAZY TODAY hehe...  Plus the fact that it's a mere two-hour class and my travel time from home to school and vice versa is more than 2 hours...  It CAN'T pay off as always despite the subject's MAIN role to my future(this is just besides a repetition hehe).  And most of the time in school, I'm physically PRESENT but my mind's always ABSENT.  It's always flying somewhere else and I don't know why and where it is flying.  So I just spent this whole day watching TV and tutoring my little sis for she's about to take her entrance test for High School..  I can't believe how time flies so fast and my sister's about to go in HS.  Still she's LITTLE though haha.  BUT, you might be surprised of the fact that my sis is very BRILLIANT, I believe that she's even MORE BRILLIANT than my brother.  Well, my siblings are just two, one brother and one sister.  I'm the eldest but I easily surrender to the fact that they both are WISER than me hehe...  They both got "recognition" awards in school and I have NONE hehe.  I let my little sis answer one of the IQ questions in a pocket-sized book and we both tried to answer it at the same time and AMAZINGLY she got the answer but I didn't.  It really is laughable that she even tried to explain to me why she correctly got it which I really didn't get AT ALL and she's, no doubt, brilliant.  I immediately told my parents that discovery and no wonder they both are proud to their youngest.  I'm looking forward to a bright future ahead her.  And because of her ability to think that beyond-normal way(kaliwete kasi), I always encourage her to take up courses in College that can enhance more her logical thinking but she's, so far, wanting to take up Mass Comm(just like my brother) and I discourage her by saying that this course will not hone her LOGICAL-thinking potential hehe...

Well, the UST-JPIA held again a GA(general assembly).  We're very GRATEFUL when Sir Basti(our Tax professor) told us after discussing a lesson the perhaps sweetest "words" the NEW 3A7 got: "You should've won!!!"  Well THAT, that's COOL haha!  Although our MIB dance performance was admittedly a TOTAL mess, I believe, with no bias attached, that we're way better...  Dinaan lang nila siguro sa costume but as far as entertainment was concerned, despite our practices, I still can't help but laugh out loud at Cuevas' unique and hilarious moves in the final performance...  Well, winning is not that important as long as we fight in the game.  PLUS the "bonding" we had during early morning practices will definitely be missed!  Well, back to NERD mode haha...  Here's the topic:

The newly-formed College of Accountancy is starting to form a new student government that will represent the whole UST-JPIA family(effective next school year).  But so far, I haven't heard any IDENTIFIED "projects" that some "candidates for certain positions" plan to accomplish(please correct me if I'm wrong).  It's, needless to say, very ESSENTIAL(the so-called platform).  It's EVEN important to any government in tradition, so why not to a NEW government??  Though there are some candidates from a party who mentioned programs like establishing a College newsletter, well the whole party itself has no specific "unified" platform...  One party, so far, campaigned to our class, and I'm looking forward to finally fill up what's "missing" through the other.  AGAIN, correct me if I'm wrong.  On one hand, if I'm about to run for a certain student government position here, I'll propose such programs like a community in the cyberspace.  FYI, the UP-JPIA has organized lots of activities EFFICIENTLY well through their official website.  I think there's still NO website for the UST-JPIA family and would that be a clearly-IDENTIFIED project?  I humbly think so.  When I asked our deserving class president why she CAN'T run for a position she told me these words that really boiled my blood: "Hindi tayo pwede, may bagsak tayo!"  All I can say is "TANG INA!!!"  Talaga!

In line with the previous paragraph, it's really not a surprise to me for us to conform to this seemingly basic societal NORM.  That our very culture now defines the ripping master Orange & Lemons over Nick Joaquin or simply FORM over SUBSTANCE(even violation of Accounting principle).  Straightly speaking, we are all TECHNICALLY one class of FAILURE(having failed major Acctg subject).  Legally, technically, prima facie, and in form, we're one bunch of FAILURE but why not consider the substance bre??  If our president told the truth, again, why not go for the substance?  Yes, we did fail but it'll not mean that we'll fail as leaders too(only if that's what they all mean).  Besides, leading by example obviously matters in here and we already had actually exercised that even before the start of the electoral campaign WHEN we are trying by all means to propose to the administration a sort of a plot for us not to be delayed for a YEAR.  Delay is a waste in almost every aspect.  Well if that's the case then we might as well form a government of our OWN to really get what we need(not to be delayed for a YEAR).  Leadership is NOT popularity nor Accounting intelligence(shame on this hehe), no matter how SUFFOCATING the schedule(we're even underloaded for God sake), still it's the raw PASSION that counts to manufacture a finished good called a LEADER .  NO MATTER WHAT, we want a next leader who can address our need in the new 3a7(not to be delayed for a YEAR) to the administration(though we can do this on our own, helping us flatters hehe).  Then this next leader I'm talking about no matter how ideal is the practical leader I've always wanted even for this country who really does respond to the REAL needs of his pseudo-family.  Thus, an UNcultured leader shall enter the whole picture, popular or not, regardless of whatever failure(which strengthens), as long as the substance(passion, determination, and countless many) of being a great leader is there(really a perfect mixture).  And not a leader who's badly defined by this cyclical culture and logically the opposite of the mixture I've just said hehe.  Hope this counts...

The Tax subject is a very serious subject.  And when I mean serious, it EVEN implies to a point where the 1-hour lecture we're getting(we're supposed to get hehe) isn't just enough for us to be able to SINK-IN all those concepts which honestly are MORE technical than we sometimes think they were.  Tama na ang pagkukunwari hehe, aaminin ko na dito ang matagal ko ng saloobin hehe, Accounting, for me, is a BORING subject, especially Tax..  So I could simply say that I'm somehow still continuing to pursue such boring course for SURVIVAL !  Kaya pumasok si Sir Basti(our Tax professor) and I was definitely whispering to myself that this would be "another" BORING lecture as it always is, but SINCE it's still February and just a day before yesterday, Valentines day was celebrated by SOME, our Tax prof only discussed the real thing for 'bout 30 minutes and the remaining 30 is ALL about sharing his own HILARIOUS theories about LOVE in toto hehe.  Was I enjoying it??  Who the hell doesn't hehe especially if you find Tax a boring subject too?  Well, his personal sharings 'bout Love are MORE worth taking down notes than those itemized deductions against Income hehe..  Are we getting such EXCLUSIVE "special" treatment from HIM because of his very comfortable gesture to our section??  I just wonder because he definitely was some sort of a SNOB with a grimaced face when he first entered the room.  Well, his 4 B's(sort of tips) to get a partner for LIFE is collectively a GREAT advice everybody could get especially those who struggle in finding the perfect one.  They're pretty COMMON though but one thing is SO important that I definitely would share: Beauty FADES!  Well, since we're not yet departing this so-called LOVE month, I'm somewhat inspired because of Sir Basti's showcase of wits on formulating own theories, well I might as well share my own HUMBLE version 'bout Love hehe..

MULTIPLY BY 2: Gawin ko na lang Math equation ang una kong theory hehe.  Don't worry "allergic" din ako sa Math kaya hindi NAMAN talaga 'to madugo hehe.  Multiply by 2 is a MISCONCEPTION 'bout Love that almost every couple fails to see.  Kaya madalas akong makakita sa Fx ng dalawang mag-kasintahan na talagang naglalambingan pa sa UNA tapos bago pa ako bumaba, nag-tampuhan na pala.  'Lam niyo ba kung bakit ganoon kadalas??  Sa tingin ko lang kasi, nag-multiply ang isang partner by 2 hehe..  Tang 'na, ano bang ibig sabihin nito, labo eh no hehe??  I may not be a GOOD writer but I'm not VAGUE so let me now go into it:

You're not getting such TRUE love that we all desire for if you extend yourself to another person(so-called beloved).  Surprising hehe?  Let's find out.  Love isn't an extension of one self but an extension of generous hands.  Because doing so, as the the word "extension" implies, you try to DOUBLE yourself at the expense of another.  The word "double" here is what I'm saying 'bout "Multiply by 2."  What's therefore the tendency of DOUBLING oneself??  One basic tendency is you try to subordinate his/her own freedom to yours.  Kasi nga, when I mean "DOUBLING" one self it seems LIKE you're trying to make another version of YOU and entering into a relationship is one perfect way to fulfill that purpose.  Gusto mo halimbawa sa Jollibee na lang kayo mag-date kasi at home ka dito simula bata ka pa at kung ayaw niya, pipilitin mo pa rin siya sa GUSTO mo, at kung ayaw talaga niya sa Jollibee mag-date kasi cheap daw, magtatampo ka na, sunod niyan malamang BREAK-UP na.  Kita, dahil lang kay Jollibee, BREAK na ang inaakala mong pag-ibig dahil sa malalim mong pagnanasa na gawin mo siyang exactly IKAW(e kung hindi talaga siya at home dun hehe, 'la kang magagawa).  And that's no wonder DOUBLING and since this is one misconception of love, that isn't love at all.  IF you love a person, why don't you just let that person FREE, even FREE in boundless ways.  If you can do that(which I think only a few can master/tolerate) then you're at the right track!  Love, again, isn't an extension of oneself.  Doing so is like foolishly concluding that as your body moves, so is the Universe.  Freedom or Individuality rules(even in a relationship), if in the relationship these two aren't exercised, then why go into Love if that would only choke??  So the helpful trick here is that DON'T LOVE, if you would only try to detain a person inside the box.  Love should always be at its essence-liberating.  Let's do the Math now hehe: Love isn't doubling oneself but it is just finding the difference.  Meaning, if you don't have a right partner yet(tulad ko hehe), we are NOT YET WHOLE as human beings and only then you'll realize that instinctive "NEED" to finally find what's the difference(if you're 75% full for instance, subtract now 75 from a hundred to find the difference).  Filling up therefore what's still EMPTY/LACKING to ultimately be WHOLE.  Whole ha hehe??  Hindi sobra-sobra sa paraang "multiply by 2."  It's but an extension of generous hands(not the self), and this means nothing but you contribute, by any means possible, something good for the well-being of another which no doubt(in turn) contributes to your well-being too...

Okay?? hehe.  Saka na ung PART 2(final part) hehe.  May quiz pa ako sa Computer haha!!  Tungkol naman sa love at first sight at hopefully sa HOPE(2 faces of it) hehe..  Bye this time...

Tama si Nina, love moves in mysterious ways hehe.  Despite the fact that I somehow managed to give love a definition in the 1st part of this "special" February entry of mine, I believe I didn't spoil love at all by trying to detach it from its mystery.  'Di ba hehe?  I didn't even summarize the whole love story in the 1st part, we UNIQUELY all have one(it's what we make it).  So love's definitely a mystery and it's better to leave it that way(unharmed hehe).  The question of why there's love is like a question of why there's a big ocean in the Pacific.  Philosophic and timeless.  Sa 1st part nito, naibahagi ko kung ano ang TUNAY na pagmamahal(kahit papaano hehe), sa totoo lang eun ang gusto kong makamit, siguro lang natin lahat.  Aaminin ko na na wala ako sa mood na gawin pa ang second part na 'to kasi naman hindi ako in-love sa ngayon haha.  Actually, I pushed a little alcohol down into my throat and now I'm typing this very entry while listening to a relaxing music(torotot-tottot haha), but REALLY this 2nd part I'm trying to share is so difficult to start despite those rituals haha. So bear with me hehe..  Okay here I go.  To reveal, I've never been in-love as much as I've never been into it, I once said here that I had been, but I'm quite sure that it wasn't JUST triggered by the airy feeling of being in-love.  I admit, I somehow courted one(I understand if you may NOT call it as such) maybe because I'm SO pressured to the fact that despite what I can do, I had never experienced having a "relationship" like others had(even younger than me, pity me hehe).  So no wonder it's PRESSURE that kicked my lazy butt then hehe, BUT, I didn't court someone, because I'm MADLY feelin' in-love with that someone.  Because, feelin' in-love with someone is nothing but an airy feeling.  Kontrobersiyal huh hehe??  Well, here's what I was trying to accomplish more than just that.

I've said that love's a mystery.  I perhaps took it damn LITERALLY and therefore, I didn't have any SINGLE idea why almost all people crave to get one(loser's me hehe).  Why the whole damn Universe has conspired to chant such sweet music for humanity.  That I didn't know then.  Since love's LITERALLY a mystery to me and indeed is, I took a bold move to court someone, hoping to find an answer as to why and finally detach it from mystery.  AND I FAILED.  Yes, you heard(a este saw) that right, I was painfully rejected by that someone and the road I used to take to ultimately unlock what lies beyond it HAS shattered.  So I took again the ordinary road, monotonous yet safe and I had no choice, had I?  Yes, love's a mystery AT FIRST but it's designed to be UNLOCKED when the right time comes, isn't it?  'Tang 'na, gusto ko lang naman maranasan na maghatid sundo sa bahay niya, makausap siya sa phone 'pag depressed ako o kaya 'pag walang magawa, manood ng sine kasama siya, magturuan sa Math, ipagluto siya ng Pancit Canton, maghugas ng pinggan nila, makilala ang mga kapatid niya o kahit buong pamilya, may mag-congratulate sa 'kin kung may na-achieve ako, may mag-hinto sa 'kin tuwing ako'y naprapraning, mag-urge sa 'kin na sumali na sa wakas sa USTetika, at kahit ano pang kakornihan o kabaliwan na naiisip niyo hehe...  From that, it's somewhat obvious that I didn't NECESSARILY need to FEEL in-love so crazy in order to experience true love but hell WHY???  Eherm.  I believe in the power of our "unconsious minds" and not EVEN that airy FEELING would drive me nuts to go court someone but the "unconscious mind" alone can do it(naxx hehe)..  Halimbawa 'to si Mary(itago ko na lang sa pangalan na 'to haha) ay gusto ko and so there's something about Mary which my conscious mind can't just explain hehe.  So much for that psychological stuff hehe.  Ganito na lang para hindi na maging magulo pa hehe, airy feelings are but TEMPORARY, takot ka sa ipis halimbawa, but eventually it would just subside if you BRAVELY face your own fear, kaya TEMPORARY lang 'yan mga katalsik-laway.  Example ulit, 'pag may nakita akong magandang tsikz sa catwalk ng USTe, sa totoo lang bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko hehe, it's the role of my feelings, isn't it?  Why sometimes the heart beats faster than normal, pero mawala lang siya sa paningin, mawawala na rin bigla eung feeling??   In short, feelings are therefore temporary...

Sa palabas na Big Fish, nakita pa lang niya ung babae parang binulungan na siya ng "unconscious mind" niya na siya talaga ang babaeng nakalaan para sa kanya kaya papakasalan niya 'to.  Anong kahibangan, kakakita pa lang niya sa babae sa circus, tapos papakasalan na niya?  Pero, nalaman ko ang sagot nang sinagot niya sa babae 'yang mismong katanungan ko na 'yan at 'to ang sabi nila(salamat sa script-o-rama sa hmmm script hehe):

Sandra Templeton: You don't even know me!

Edward Bloom: I have the rest of my life to find out.

BOOM!!!  Coke SAKTO haha!!  That script isn't only sweet.  'Lam ba ng CONSCIOUS mind ng lalaki sa movie kung sino ang babaeng gusto niyang pakasalan?  HINDI pa(so far).  "Unconscious" eun bre!  Unang kita palang ni Edward sa mga magagandang mata ng babae, 'lam niya na kaagad na mamahalin niya 'to habang-buhay.  Walang research na nangyari bago eun hehe.  Time will not even matter once "unconscious" taps.  Ganoon din siguro ang nangyari sa 'kin.  Kailagan ko pa bang i-search sa Google kung sino si Mary bago ko siya ligawan?  Kailangan ko bang maramdaman na gusto rin niya ako para ligawan DIN? Do I need to FEEL her warm embrace before I can proceed hehe?  HINDI.  The unconscious mind, you may not be aware, is an EXTRAORDINARY knowledge.  And that's exactly what makes love mysterious in a way.  The trick is, sundan mo ang "unconscious" mo kung sino ang liligawan(panget man o maganda) at kapag sinagot ka na, dun na dapat papasok si CONSCIOUS mind sa scene kung siya nga ba talaga ang karapat-dapat paglaanan ng buhay haha.  That airy feeling of being in-love is nothing but TEMPORARY as I've always said, if you try to marry someone because you feel you're in love, no doubt it'll subside.  Kaya nga maraming divorce eh!  Kontrobersiyal ba hehe??  Well, I guess it isn't so revolutionary or even controversial to say this: HINDI ako magmamahal kasi 'la lang o kasi FEEL ko lang, o FEEL ko in-love ako, I want to love because I want to grow...  The feeling fades(believe me this time hehe), but the enormous desire to grow with someone you chose(healthy if unconsciously done) lasts.  Growth transcends feelings.  Kaya nga 'tang 'na, gusto ko talaga magturuan kami sa Math, so that I could grow haha...  LOVE being a feeling is a BIG misconception sabi nga ni M. Scott Peck...

Tama na 'yan may part 3 pa 'bout HOPE haha(pipilitin ko isulat hehe habang Feb pa)...  Baboo this time...     

Well, this could be a TIMELY revelation.  

My blockmates are endlessly sending messages through text.  Well, Globe has this unlimited promo and they, sort of, grab that opportunity and so they keep on texting without LIMITS and because of this, they "creatively" have organized some kind of a chat session through text messaging.  How can that be possible?  Well, in Globe, you can make things POSSIBLE haha.  Since it's UNLIMITED, they keep on sharing their own stories(even non-sense hehe) basically about anything.  For the ultimate purpose of alleviating boredom hehe.  And now they are having a late-night topic 'bout Love, oh my, how mushy haha.  Well, spare me this time..  I have NOW my own moment hehe.

On one hand, browsing some latest updates of friends in Friendster has seemed to be a hobby of mine.  Well, some have normal updates but there's one update that stands out and it SOMEHOW(caps yan ha hehe) broke my heart hehe.  'Di ba sa Friendster, meron "parang" civil status dun??  Well, everytime na i-check ko ang profile nya, SINGLE pa ang nakalagay, ngayon, ay naku buhay talaga, SAWI, SAKLAP, in a relationship na siya!!!  Totoo kaya??  Presumably YES!  Well, ung friend ko na eun ay HINDI ung niligawan ko ha(to clarify things), well since the introductory part of this entry('to na ung conclusion ng Love-ishness entry ko) says there: "TIMELY revelation" well, let me now reveal to you perhaps the deepest secret of another face of my love life...

The girl(her Friendster profile I just checked) was my "seatmate" when I was in 4th year HS, considerably, it has been a long time.  Well, we used to chat way back then and for me it was mostly magical.  She was making sense, and the chat we used to have was not always SERIOUS because it sometimes never went dull if we insert hilarious stuffs to some of our conversations.  I badly miss the time when you shared to me "the" inspiring story that you read in Reader's Digest about a child with a serious chronic failure on his/her immune system and the reason why he/she was 'housed' in a balloon for years.  And you were sharing that story to me PERHAPS for me not to become somewhat "BORED" on cutting with my bare hands those popsikle sticks into measured pieces not just to grant your request but to help you complete your project...  Our long conversations through the phone especially the time when I somehow slipped my tongue, formed a literary metaphor of "YOU", comparing YOU to a simple bright star, and you just reciprocated that with a seemingly-flattered grin...  I slipped my tongue too when I offered you a "TREAT" during your birthday, but you naturally declined.  My only regret is that I never attempted to invite you to a sweet "dance" during the Senior's prom and the day after that I jokingly blamed others why "friends" never invited you and you stared at me with a frown plus the "words" you threw to me that I can't remember which "toned" expressive enough to convey a little disappointment.  PLUS the long Friendster testimonial I wrote for you that I "unconsciously" revelead "it" all.  And how can I forget "the" thing that has really made me realize that I have a hidden talent in drawing when you patiently taught me how to do the "shading" thing to cast a shadow-effect on my grubby oslo paper.  Sometimes, you even made the whole thing for me which in turn got a PERFECT remark.  Damn, how can I forget those serious eyes that COMFORT when I was a having a terrible day.  That "cheer-up" during a 'stressful' minute of starting-up my English essay by offering me a little something to eat.  I rarely transferred seat JUST not to be "apart" from you and we became some kind of a love-team then because of that obvious gesture.  Well, those were just some remarkable moments with you that added up to the many reasons why I've never doubted myself(even once) that I "rightfully" fell for you.  HAHA, mushy, ang korni na, pero kung binabasa mo man 'to, hindi ko man naamin dati, sige na, 'to na, aminin ko na dito na talagang GUSTO kita...  I don't doubt that you're one "perfect" girl for anybody and you know, for sure, that a simple guy like me can possibly fall for that kind.  Now, you're in a relationship(if what I saw was plainly true), then whoever that guy is, tsk must be the "luckiest."  Perhaps, if I confessed to you that I DO like you, I really doubt if you'll like me too.  If it wasn't because of the one I planned to court, then my focus would have been you alone and no second thoughts.  Things I wanted to click then, JUST didn't click, we went separate ways but memories remain...

Bakit ba ako nasasaktan sa nakita ko?  Wala naman akong ginawang move huh!  Pero bakit para akong nagula't nasaktan sa nakita ko sa Friendster na 'yan?  I, again, has just felt another strand of hope falling before my eyes.

Well, that saddening hope has two faces as always emphasized through those endless mushy text messages.  The HOLDING ON and the LETTING GO.  It always gives me a great feeling to let go of something I could no longer hold on to.  Giving me another new set of HOPE.  But WAIT it confuses me everytime I think to myself that I've never even holded on, I've never even tried, so how can I possibly let go of a thing which, at the first place, didn't get a "fair" piece of my grip??   That seemed utterly ridiculous.  Being a "hopeless romantic" that I always am, it has already gone to its natural high...

You may probably notice that this February, I've been bombarding my weblog with a barrage of entries hehe.  Well, not really,  just let me FLUSH down those mushy love-isness entries kasi talaga naman CORNY haha(not to be viewed in the homepage hehe).  Well, what's the date today?  Naku, Feb 25 pala.  What's happening, not to me, but to the country??  State of National Emergency?  Ay mali, People Power One 20th anniversary...  Pati kapulisan nalilito kung sino ang dapat huliin, ung nag-rarally ba dahil sa declaration ni PGMA o ung gumugunita sa anniversary??  NAKU, I heard that because of that declaration "public utilities" could be controlled by the government, pati kaya BLOG, which undoubtedly now has been a NEW form of media hehe??  NO NEED!!!  I've been so overwhelmed with lots of information already 'bout this whole mess, this proclamation "thing" of calling the armed forces to suppress so-called lawless violence(is that it, I'm no lawyer hehe?), from the news alone.  Naiinis ba 'ko??  Well, medyo but I'm keepin' my COOL hehe...  Speakin' of LOTS of information, it's beginning to OVERLOAD, isn't it?  To the extent of overwhelming the Filipino people, kahit nga ung walang pakialam e.  In fact, I read the whole copy of PGMA's proclamation from Miss Sassy's blog instead of reading IAS for Investments haha.  I can see that many leaders are against that premature?(as they say it) proclamation...  Well, since this is my weblog, a personal weblog for that matter, it's expected that I'm about to give my humble opinion 'bout the whole picture. BUT let me first share to you a cute Indian story(parable?) that somehow describes the messy political situation happening now:

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A number of disciples went to the Buddha and said, "Sir, there are living here in Savatthi many wandering hermits and scholars who indulge in constant dispute, some saying that the world is infinite and eternal and others that it is finite and not eternal, some saying that the soul dies with the body and others that it lives on forever, and so forth. What, Sir, would you say concerning them?"

The Buddha answered, "Once upon a time there was a certain raja who called to his servant and said, 'Come, good fellow, go and gather together in one place all the men of Savatthi who were born blind... and show them an elephant.' 'Very good, sire,' replied the servant, and he did as he was told. He said to the blind men assembled there, 'Here is an elephant,' and to one man he presented the head of the elephant, to another its ears, to another a tusk, to another the trunk, the foot, back, tail, and tuft of the tail, saying to each one that that was the elephant.

"When the blind men had felt the elephant, the raja went to each of them and said to each, 'Well, blind man, have you seen the elephant? Tell me, what sort of thing is an elephant?'

"Thereupon the men who were presented with the head answered, 'Sire, an elephant is like a pot.' And the men who had observed the ear replied, 'An elephant is like a winnowing basket.' Those who had been presented with a tusk said it was a ploughshare. Those who knew only the trunk said it was a plough; others said the body was a grainery; the foot, a pillar; the back, a mortar; the tail, a pestle, the tuft of the tail, a brush.

"Then they began to quarrel, shouting, 'Yes it is!' 'No, it is not!' 'An elephant is not that!' 'Yes, it's like that!' and so on, till they came to blows over the matter.

"Brethren, the raja was delighted with the scene.

"Just so are these preachers and scholars holding various views blind and unseeing.... In their ignorance they are by nature quarrelsome, wrangling, and disputatious, each maintaining reality is thus and thus."

===

OKAY ba hehe??  

I don't doubt that this is one dark side of OUR democracy.  But I'm not suggesting that we should resort to a dictatorial form of government that had been long ousted from the picture(why we must commemorate EDSA I).  I admire Sen. Miriam Santiago because of her conviction 'bout PGMA's proclamation yesterday when she rightly(for me) says that a President knows something that a Senator can't just know.  Media is besides doing a "fair" job to air all sides to avoid as much as possible the very scenario of the parable above although it has already been story-telling all of us.

To all Filipinos(though this blog's TOO LITTLE/UNPOPULAR for such address), we REALLY are all ignorant to the fact that we are all by nature QUARRELSOME(as the parable says), because we simply tend to be blind especially if an important issue like this enters the scene.  Yes, I'm IGNORANT because I have never experienced to be NEUTRAL on a critical issue like this and thus I have my OWN side which "others" might angrily disagree!!  It doesn't mean though that I'm close-minded on the other fence.  I'm damn BLIND hehe, to humbly admit...  And because of that fact, I let the President of the democratic Philippines guide me so that a poor blind man(blind in some views) like me will NOT FALL from a cliff.  Let the President guide us on touching the other features of an elephant that we sometimes resist to sense.  Paraphrasing a little Sen. Santiago's bright side: A president sees what I can't just see.  I studied Economics, I studied Accounting(kumusta naman 'to hehe?), even our Constitution, but still I get NO CLUE(relative to the factual basis) as to why the President interprets it(the declaration) that way as much as Sen. Santiago does.

Let's us just celebrate the 20th anniversary of People Power I(the ONLY true People Power).  I was a mere 2-month old baby then hehe and how I wish I was already a grown-up to embrace the light feeling of FREEDOM!  What are we protesting for if we already are all eating Freedom's fruits(besides it's our RESPONSIBLE choice)??  The declaration that kills the spirit of the anniversary?  Maybe YES!  Has the extreme Rightists(military adventurists) or Leftists(communists), on one hand, got an armed capacity to poison the same Freedom re-captured 20 years back???  Come to think of it.  How f*ckin SICK that we have been pushing, if not badly abusing, our FREEDOM to the limits at the expense of the country.  Like a human being, it had stopped to GROW for God sake!!!  Hadn't it?  Let me get it practically straight by inserting a hypothetical yet possible scenario: If communists take-over the country, how can we establish our own business if we like to?  Is that Freedom?  HELL NO!!  If military takes-over, would you like a curfew hour, warrantless arrests in the metro streets?  I think NO!  In short, I don't like dreaded Communism nor do I like suffocating Martial Law, but many are getting into PGMA's nerves that hell knows Martial Law could technically happen even with just a shallow YET clear danger in a single mighty blow.  True, some of us are blind, we can't even see how the President struggles to keep our economy afloat.  We already have democracy so no need to want more.  I think we want a NEW leader, so I challenge anyone now, how statistically 100% SURE are you, that you'll be liberated from poverty once leadership changes??  Let the woman do her thing, she obviously knows TOLERABLY WELL(if not better) so whatever forms of destabilization SUCK big time!  NOW, that our nation is UNDER Martial Law ah este State of Emergency, that's the sole price the freedom-takers MUST PAY(kayo kasi eh)!!!  These freedom-takers successfully had exhausted PGMA's patience.  IMPEACH her if you want to impeach, I just don't care, and BESIDES that's surely SAFE enough not to temporarily detach the whole political machinery from its basic function.  I'm basically addressing this to those who like some adventure who push our "democracy" to the edge of the cliff: DON'T WHINE LIKE A WOMAN!!!  Needless to say, my position so far can rotate a complete turn if the factual basis for such declaration is a mere "hallucination" on the president's part to strategically keep her on power which she legitimately OR illegitimately grabbed.  Pardon me for I can't stand to a thing which I don't fully know hehe 'bout the legitimacy of her presidency...  That would only lengthen, I believe, this already lengthy entry hehe...