Here's my mood of this very moment: I want to play HARDCORE...

Hehe.  Hulaan niyo??  Well, I want to play hardcore... BASKETBALL hehe.  But I just can't.  To those who've known me, I think you know the reason why I can't.  You don't??  Well, to those who simply don't know me I just can't play basketball because of my serious visual defect.  Maybe you're saying right now "What's the big deal about it?  Just put off your glasses and play the damn thing"  It's easy for you to say it BUT it's hard for me to just do it.  Buti sana kung mababa lang ang grado ng mga mata ko, KAYA pa!  But I've been a SEVERE myopic for considerably many years.  And taking off my glasses to play basketball would not only be one big disability on my part but plainly IMPOSSIBLE!

This summer break, though few days from now classes would start, there's only one thing I badly miss and that is to play "my game" even with complete strangers.  Sobrang BORING tuwing summer break, buti na nga lang eh nagkaroon ako ng summer class, if it weren't for that summer class, I could have gone completely insane because of intense dullness.  I HATE the thing that I'm not BALANCED.  You know what I mean?  It's kind of killing an important side of me.  Balanced in a sense that I couldn't project the PHYSICAL aspect of me.  And because of that disability, the INTELLECTUAL aspect of my being has been too much fed up.  WHICH I DON'T LIKE!  To be honest, because of this condition, I've completely surrendered to the fact that for the rest of my life, I would just dwell myself into this monotonous habitat of: reading thinking reading thinking(repeat 100x).  I believe this musn't be this way.  So Dr. Phil help me haha.

When I was young NOT wearing glasses resting above my nose, I wasn't really a studious type of guy.  I can admit I've loved the idea of learning but at that time, I wasn't so obsessed to the fact that I always needed to be TOP of my class.  In short, I didn't make a career out of it though I accidentally slid my butt in to kick away some "diligent" students from the top haha.  Just love to know NEW things at those tender years and I'm NOT overly studious.  So I want to play like any children DO and this is where I made a career.  And basketball was an all-time favorite.  Because of that, NOBODY could mess up with me in this game.  If you don't believe me, look out for my childhood friends in this game and ask all of them how "good" I played during those fruitful years.  But that had ONLY been "ON" until I finally started wearing this damn glasses.  Yet I still tried so hard to play the game without wearing this "junk" but I just stumbled and fell.  In short, I just can't play the damn game with a very blurred vision.  Many years passed and I still missed my game.  I can't tolerate it anymore.  So when I entered my first year in College, it's time to play my game without glasses but with a better vision.  And that's when I started wearing those "damaging" contact lens(wore those for this reason ONLY).  It only lasted a year but certainly when I came back to my game and played, I made a "name" out of it in the confines of every basketball court.  It just lasted a while because the "contacts" almost melted out my cornea and I believe it was a wise decision not to push any further.  It was somehow a traumatic experience and actually because of that contact lens experience of mine, my eyes started to show off some frightful symptoms that I still suffer today.

Of course, I can't deny the fact that when I first started wearing glasses I had no choice but just to project my physical frustration to intellectual stuffs.  From computers to books to math.  But as I've just said, it mustn't be this way.  I'm not a kind of person who's contented being THIS.  Somebody said that there is more to life than this.  And that is when I've realized that I should go back to my game.  BUT NOT THIS TIME hehe.  But I promise I definitely will.  Every human being should be whole.  We have the physical side, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, what else?  And I'm also not the kind who'll tend to depress even one side of my being.  As much as possible, I want to be whole or as I've said BALANCED.  Because life is pretty tricky and you don't know how "great" you can be in a thing you still haven't done yet.  And no one knows when I come back to my game, life could indeed be tricky and become this one which I haven't done yet. 

hehe

What's freedom in a deeper context?  Thank you Coach Carter for giving me a "topic" I could write to finally free myself from boredom.  

The day "today" is when we all commemorate our heroes' struggles which paved a way to simply be on our "own."  If I were still an elementary student writing an essay for an English subject, I believe that first sentence was perfectly deep.  So deeper enough, this could be a perfect day to realize that our country should add more tarriff on imported goods to let our very own local products, bedridden out there, to strut their butts.  That was pretty deeper(let alone the word butts), obviously not suited for an Elementary essay, but I believe that was OUT of context.

Teacher Leslie, my favorite English teacher of all-time way back when I was still in High School who inspired us to become a book author-autobiographer, once discussed that freedom should always be accompanied by responsibility.  Was that deep?  I believe so because while she was discussing about it, I was scratching my head until it fell off on the floor grasping how the hell it relates to the lesson subject-verb agreement.  This is one perfect lesson for some gossip writers out there who have been overly "free" and who've been staying out of trouble by NOT taking full responsibility about their actions through their libelous columns.  Making the constitutional "freedom of expression" as their basic shield.  If Dan Brown wrote in his popular novel Da Vinci Code defining history as a fable agreed upon, I have my own version but defining freedom as a "positive" word abused upon.  Yes, we can do whatever we want but it should always be "responsibly" done.  Various religions have done a "great" job limiting what we should always do in accordance with their sound scriptures.  So if religions have been prevalent for ages, was that deep(seriously, NOT when you try to relate it to S-V agreement)?  Actually it wasn't, it was not even WITHIN the context.  But why the hell did I still write it?  Well, I'm free to include whatever I want to include here as long as it was not as "scandalous" as those columnists' libelous gossips .  One good example of a freedom utilized in a "responsible" way is when  pretty ladies dance non-stop to always make men smile.

Seriously, I like to write about freedom in a deep way mainly about oneself and in particular freedom from one's ultimate fear.  So let me just paste what Timo Cruz realizes from the movie Coach Carter.  Besides, this same realization made our freedom fighters hundred years back brave enough to fight for what they believed in.


I've chosen not to discuss further for I would just rot that perfectly-written script.  Here's the little comprehension test, if you can't comprehend what that means by reading it only once, don't feel bad about yourself for it could mean it's deep enough.  If you've just made it as your favorite movie quote ever, then that means it's pretty suited to your OWN context.  Me?  I didn't understand it well when I heard it in the movie house but reading it, I didn't only understand what that means but I've made it as my favorite movie quote ever which anybody can possibly consider.  So are you still afraid to achieve the seemingly "unreachable" don't be?!  How I wish "doing it"  could be as easy as "saying it."  But hell no...

Takteng yan, kailan pa kaya makakabawi ang Dallas Mavericks?  Dapat sa Game 6 na, no choice naman eh, mag-tae pa sila sa Game 6, hindi na sila Champion!  Lumamang na ang Miami Heat sa series ng NBA finals(3-2).  'Lam niyo ba kung bakit nakakaburat?  Kasi naman nag 2-0 na ang series pabor sa aking paboritong team na Dallas, pero bakit bigla na lang nahabol?  Bakit ba gusto ko sa Dallas team?  Kasi sila may teamwork at sila ang underdog.  Hindi tulad ng Miami na puro Shaq at Wade lang ang umaariba.  Muntik na akong ma-late sa Cost Accounting kanina dahil ang "tindi" ng laban eh, pero wala rin, pumasok ako sa school na may LOW MORALE haha dahil natalo ang Dallas sa napakaHALAGANG Game 5.

Belated na lang Pops hehe. 

Father's day nung Linggo siyempre hindi ko nakalimutan yun, hindi nga lang ako bumati kay Pops ng "Happy Father's Day" hehe.  Well, babawi ako dito sa entry na 'to kasi hindi kita nabati hehe.  Well Pops, you're the best DAD in the world haha .  Parang "sappy kindergarten" lang ah hehe.  Well, you don't need to be "greeted" a happy father's day if you know so well that what I'm taking now is the path you used to take especially when you were still in your College days.  The only slight difference is the fact that you made a lot of sacrifices and exerted so much "effort" just to make a way to become what you are now FAR GREATER than what I've been struggling "to make" to be just like you.  So what I'm trying to say my dear readers is that Father's day is not only the time to appreciate what our fathers have done for our families through "sappy greetings" but also to let them know how we are doing to somehow gauge their insurmountable "performance" as fathers they've been proud to be.  And that's through following their lead to ultimately make them proud.  I'm so much thankful for the fatherly wisdom you have shared to me from the time you cleared my confusion out to make this BIG decision to take up Accounting as my major to the toilet bowl system particularly about how the "flush" works hehe.  My achievement(if you can permit me to call it such hehe) is not yet even half as yours.  And you're still paving the road to make your dreams come true and I wish you all luck.  Just don't drink more frequently for you "to have" a long road ahead to finally make your dreams happen. 

Here's to my Pops and all "dads" in the world(not limited to those who forgot to put their condoms on hehe):

 

Yesterday, the Seniors' Orientation was held, though we are already in our fourth year, I think it was a "must" just because our building is NEW.  And the Dean had to remind us that the "sprinklers" are not meant for "bathing" purposes.  Part of the orientation which was MORE interesting than anything else was the promotion of JPIA organizations.  This was when I started to have a confusion.  Confusion clouded my mind if I'll join anything or NOT!  But at that moment, to join NOTHING surpassed anything else.  But then again I asked myself why I'll join nothing despite the fact that at least three organizations promoted yesterday can possibly ACCEPT yours truly.  So here I am again trying to clear this confusion hopefully by sitting on this toilet bowl called a blog.  I might as well release this shit systematically.

As I've said there are 3 organizations that simply fit my taste and these are:

Debate Team
Staff
Chorale
Basketball <- I sadly can't

Ok let me first go into the Debate Team.

Ok let me be "final" here in this blog.  I'll NOT be joining this AGAIN.  Last year, I tried out and fortunately was accepted.  I was trained to argue through ONLY very few sessions.  I debated NOT more than 5 as far as I can remember and I absented myself during training hours VERY often.  It only can mean ONE thing that this kind of guy is obviously NOT interested and going back would be a shame on my part.  And this kind of organization is not just anything else and therefore must be taken SO seriously and if there's one bad apple that really can spoil other apples inside the basket, that bad apple was me and I'll not let others to also be spoiled.  Surely I have a potential to be a GOOD debater only if I'm dedicated to honing the craft besides I wasn't just accepted because they badly needed to have members, of course, they were, no doubt, WISE enough to pick students whom they can see have a great speaking ability for them to train.  But let me put this straight why I basically exited myself from the team.  I realized then that I was too IRRESPONSIBLE for such a tedious or shall I say tiresome job.  If speaking ability was the only requirement then humbly speaking they didn't make a mistake by picking me being a member but I was the one who made a mistake by joining this at the first place without anticapating the old fact that I can't simpy joggle things like a rare few can especially with this course I'm taking.  Hope I reasoned well and also hope you'll understand.

Secondly to become a "staff."

I believe that our HS publication adviser once said that "staffer" is a commonly misused word and "staff" is a more appropriate term but whatever(hehe) just argue with him.  But it doesn't matter if I just put this simply: "to become a writer," does it?  Ok, I'm NOT final in this case but 90% sure that I'll NOT be joining.  Why again?  Simply becaue I don't want to commit the same mistake I made when I had joined the debate team and later quitted.  In short, I've learned from my previous mistake but it's pretty different because if one made a mistake, he'll normally do the best he can to "correct" it BUT in my case I'm a common kind who simply escapes responsibility to avoid problems.  It sounds a bit COWARDLY but it's just like asking me this question: "how can one face the problem if the problem is his face?"  HAHA.  But as I've said it's only 90% final, the 10% will be depending on a circumstance especially if there comes an "influential" trigger.  In short, I'm once again too IRRESPONSIBLE for such a tedious task and it's but natural for me to NOT joggle things for I believe I can't based on that debate experience.  Besides, what's the big difference between writing here in this toilet bowl called a blog and writing for a campus paper?  If you're into fame then campus paper is good enough to satisfy it but other things equal, there's no difference as long as you can express well.  In addition, it's fucking FUN to write in here because this whole thing can never be LIMITED unlike in the campus paper, did I just say "fucking" hehe?

Lastly, a CHORALE member.

My brother has been a dedicated member of AB-Chorale.  Like any other brothers out there, I'm IN for a competition hehe.  Besides, I have a singing voice(not just a voice hehe) if NOT as GOOD as him.  In addition, I can sing anytime and so what I'm saying is that this is NOT as effortful as becoming one hell of a staff.  In becoming a staff, you have to think more than just an hour what to write and of course how to please readers but becoming a chorale member, you just have to sing without thinking for hours what song to sing because in my case I'll just hum and the rest is history haha.  To be final, conservatively I'm 85% for this thing, the 15% because of shyness hehe...

The only thing that's 99.9% I couldn't just abandon is this toilet bowl called a blog and I'll elaborate why in my NEXT entry.  100% is "learning," needless to say hehe.