Ok, it's another time of year when little planet Mercury tends to be gay and emo for it goes retrograde once again which, according to my poor vocabulary experience, means NOSTALGIC? hehe   What the hell is this astrological phenomenon which appeared uncommon to me at first?  Is it true that computers will crash, conversations will mostly be 'miscommunicated' and I'll tend to become 'inward' again for my mindset wouldn't be able to trek those boundless experiences that ultimately can bring yours truly new-found knowledge due to this "backward" perspective towards this planet?  Let's discuss it through the seemingly "effective" what, where, when why, and how approach.  

WHAT

Mercury Retrograde, what else hehe?  I believe the word 'retrograde' is a VERY unfamiliar word as I first encountered it so to familiarize it a little well, retrograde derives from the Latin words retro(backwards), and gradus(step).  There's actually NO backward movement of Mercury(who the hell HAS?hehe).  It's just that we see it this way from...

WHERE?!

Earth!!!  I can't precisely point though where we can get a "perfect view" for it just enough to get all emo lovers across the globe rush through just like children who almost stumble to get a sock full of candies from Santa.  There are so many sites "diligent" enough to be dedicated to 'where' we can exactly get a good look at it which could even drown us with scientific details enough for us to emit blood coming out from the nose.  Oh-noes hehe.  And my blog has lived up with its name hehe, so that said, this isn't diligent at all!  Pardon

WHEN

October 28-November 17 2006.  According to a rich source, this phenomenon happens thrice a year.

WHY

I just don't know why hehe you might as well ask an astronomy buff all about it.  All I know is that we must keep our 'cool' because this isn't AT ALL connected about strange creatures stepping out from a seemingly airconditioned boomerang befriending children and in the end(before they go back to wherever the hell they belong) giving us gold.

HOW

When Mercury goes retrograde, as they BELIEVE it, our brain doesn't dare to move forward so instead it moves backwards or aptly inwards.  In short, we become 'nostalgic' and so we tend to reminisce good old times definitely EXCEPT the hell moments when our daddies lashed our naked butts with an almighty belt while strangely asking us about who our daddies were and as for my own experience, I still managed to reply amidst pain and tears, "RRREYNALDO DARRRANGGG argggh!"  Hehe   Seriously, it's said to be 'disadvantageous' to contract with anyone, start things off, and to even marry.  Maybe because of the annoying 'delay' it might bring due to redoing or reworking hehe.

How true is this?  It might seem conclusive JUST because you read something "scientifically-convincing" about a full moon which causes anyone to become a 'melodramatic' fool and those who have lucid interval(shifting insanity) to ultimately go INSANE.  And probably because of this similar circumstance, this phenomenon apparently appears NOT different at all!  Maybe, I would just give in and accept it's REAL just because our car still doesn't start and the mechanic seemed going 'retro' as well for he almost banged his head on the car door trying to remember perhaps those theories he learned years back hoping he can be able to solve the problem in our car mocking his very face.  Also, those who owe us.  They can't seem to know by heart what OBLIGATION  really is.  Is this the overall effect of the so-called 'Mercury Retrograde' or just nothing but plain coincidence?  All I can say is that this is nothing but a huge CRAP!  For Christ's sake, even if this isn't the time when Mercury goes gay, our car would still be a piece of JUNK as it has always been and it's really better to ride in Star City's Wild River ride than to ride in it for I'm telling you, you will not just feel "secure" riding in a JUNK being unfortunately aware that it might STOP anytime in the middle of the highway just to be swallowed whole by a monster of shame.  The mechanic, as I observed, would never be as effective as our elderly resident mechanic Mano Pips who untimely flew away to our province in Samar and has found life again by simply continuing being a mechanic.  And our economy, despite the stability it has garnered so far through the showcase of our peso that keeps overpowering a dollar, has never been LONG-TERM enough to extinguish anybody's debts on time.  Which all boils down to the point I had been struggling to drive at hehe that no matter how strong the "force" is in this phenomenon, I bet we are far stronger even if this little Mercury jokingly expands as large as Jupiter.  For we control our own fate at least most of the time which Madam Auring and her stupid astrology combined can't just outmaneuver upon.   

O God the Father of Heaven, I'm so bored to death!  I tell you, even within a tight schedule, I could be a great "slack" with usual consistency and what MORE this time?  Well, I don't have a Tuesday and Thursday class to brag hehe and my subjects are mostly minors so it terribly means one thing: My very loose schedule would definitely worsen the "laziness" that really has been "chronic" within me.  And even the slacker of all slackers wouldn't like it, I confidently bet because I simply am hehe!  Because of this, to work productively especially during those days I've just stated has always been jumping and making a noise inside my head just like those indefinite sheeps we count to fall asleep and the eye floaters that keep on annoying me.  By the way, are those NOISY?  Never mind.  So what will I do?!  Well, looking for a job has always been the FIRST on my list.  Yes, I'm a slacker but maybe NOT if there's a benefit popularly known to every job as compensation.  So I've kept on browsing jobstreet.com looking for a part-time job that of course would kind of suit yours truly's skills.  But then again NO, because most of them are looking for call center agents and I'm NO "patient" for being one since my temper's always rising above sea level everytime I get impatient and annoyed to somebody over a telephone line.  So I don't want to engage myself to a verbal combat leading to serious assault and then law suit because chance is I'll just end up being a loser and who wants to become one?  Well, I don't hehe!  But there's one freelance job that has been tempting me for days, forming a whole human conscience and saying this, "Get it or else your chronic laziness will turn FATAL!"  And I freaked out, asking myself while sweating profusely, "Have I been a schizo?  When was the last time I created an alternate reality except the fantasy of Nicole Hernandez and I, deliberately trapped ourselves in the Amazon for a sole intention to fall in love with each other?"  Hehe very funny!  Seriously, the job I was talking about that would really never be OUT from my options is technical writing.  Well, that job basically would require anyone "motivated" to write but with a little complexity since you'll definitely not write creative pieces arising from one's emotions like poetry but insead you'll write according to the facts one has to gather.  Particularly, the job I plan to apply would require me to interview technical people like engineers or programmers about a "system" for example and I would basically write all about it, just like trying to produce a "help" file for a certain software or simply what geeks call documentation.  Hopefully with determination, I'll get qualified.  No need to share what my skills are that would pretty much suit the job.  Deep inside, I believe I've had hehe.  But then again NO hehe.  I'm afraid of the fact that I might once again NOT be able to joggle things up.  Especially the possibility of being so preoccupied with one task that would probably tend to trouble the other.  You know what I mean hehe?  Alright, so I think I have to let it pass just for a while until anything signals GO!  Besides, I don't think my parents would allow me.  Which has moved me to another good option, a particular craft that I must finally hone after a very long break.  The GUITAR

Well, I think I haven't shared this: MUSIC runs smoothly well through my family that evidently has its roots on my mother's side.  My mother along with her 9 siblings and extended relatives whom I barely know are musically-inclined.  My brother, as I shared once, has been a chorale member since High School.  My father?  Never mind hehe, he's just another videoke freak flattering himself when drunk and my little sister has derived this "misfortune" from my father MINUS the drinking of course hehe.  As for me, it's more than just a hobby, it's a passion haha.  Had I got a guitar sufficiently 10 years back, I could have been a guitarist/vocalist of a band and who knows, would have been as popular as Chito of Parokya ni Edgar hehe.  But due to unlucky detour of events, I just got that sick Ukelele which was damn too LITTLE to take seriously perhaps except if Jasmine Trias will ask me to play it for her to dance a sweet Hawaiian dance.  Nonetheless, I still brought that sick Ukelele everytime we did a Christmas Carol with my neighborhood friends NOT making any melody at all, just strumming it so noisily and thus we were always scolded by people without any Christmas spirit the Jose Mari Chan way, yelling this: "ANG IINGAY NIYO, MAGSILIGO NA KAYO!"  Which brought us into deep thinking, how the hell was the sense of hearing related to the sense of smell?!  That led me to conclude that my inherent squatter's stink began to develop inversely proportionate to my arithmetic skill.  DAMN!  Well, the loose schedule I wasn't really complaining about hehe really brought me a relived shot to learn playing the guitar, now bigger enough to take it awesomely serious hehe .  Had my little sister got NO music subject which requires them to bring a guitar every class, my parents wouldn't have bought it at the first place.  So I thank my sister's music class for that, cheers!  I started playing it just a week ago after it was tuned by my sister's music teacher.  So it was actually the guitar's "off-key melody" I had been shamelessly playing that frustrated me and ultimately halted me to play for good.  But after it had been tuned, only then I began to play wonderful songs which I can successully form into one sentence that perhaps would make sense hehe:  If only you could give me a high, I'd remain still on the same ground.  The italicized words are the songs I've been painstakingly practicing despite the "stress" it has brought my left fingers.  Wish me luck to become a good guitar player hopefully before I finally sing for my soulmate a seemingly popular song known as Boom Tarat.

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By the way, although I gave off a BIG sh*t during the Excelsior's BIGGEST stage held at the BIG Medicine Auditorium by answering a correct answer perhaps to a different question that solely made me a wretched Finalist, congratulations still from the bottom of my RETINA haha   But why in the world was the mic tilted at me to answer that question considering I didn't even know the answer?  Forget it hehe   Well, let me take this free web space as an opportunity to apologize for my shortcomings and mainly thank my simply awesome teammates for incredibly placing 2nd on the "conclusion" day lifting us above to deserved fame *winks*  And of course, congratulations to the champs, take this from the slacker: You definitely deserve it!  To ALL competitors too for a good game.        

As I stepped out from my father's junk(which is by the way our car), I saw my classmate way back in 1st year high school who was formally dressed up in red, curious, I approached him at the waiting shed where he was shading himself from the rudeness of the sun while gazing at him perhaps aware of what my intention was.  No, I didn't give him a blow in the stomach.  I just asked him as a cloaked form of catching up an update why he was so dressed up damn respectably.  He answered, "I'm about to be interviewed."  So our conversation went the usual.  I then asked him where he's applying for a job and he said it's in Makati.  Well, good I should've remarked that   This good friend being a fresh graduate of a computer-related course was needless to say applying for a job which is computer-related.  As I was in the fx on my way to school, I again began to realize how time has really flown swift.  Parang kailan lang.  I whispered.

Just a month ago at the tricycle terminal, I met my girl friend(notice the space in between, she's a friend) and considering the long time we had never conversed, it was indeed a great relief for both our sakes.  And so I asked her the customary, "how have you been?"  I was about then to utter a profane word due to sheer enthusiasm but I had quickly seen she was accompanied by her father and so I behaved myself.  I proceeded to ask how she has been doing as a writer and she answered with a reserved grin that she's now the editor-in-chief of PNU's Torch.  Well, I soon reacted with amazement for that's definitely one hell of a feat.  Being a f*ckin' EIC for a University, come on, that is so good to be true!  Giving you a little trivia, somebody has yet to step up to break her record for being the person whom I chatted the LONGEST over the phone.

Both encounters simply knocked the sleeping daylights out of me and I soon became conscious about just how I've been living my life.  It seems to me that I've never been so contented with it.  I shared to my seatmate just yesterday this mild tirade by saying this: "Noong high school ako, gusto ko nang mag-College, pero ngayong College na 'ko, gusto ko nang mag-trabaho!"  I guess it's normal to dream but my impatience, I believe, is NOT!  I'm sort of pressured by both my good friend and lady friend, his quest for a job and her early accomplishment in life respectively.  Thing is, I'm just tired of studying the same way most of our house helpers got tired for being one!  But the only difference is I've got no choice.  Call me a revolting freak for simply having a thought of transcending while being f*ckin' stagnant on the same sickening ground and I'll give in.  Just when, o God, will I rise from this comfort zone?!  Believe me this time, I'm willing to take a risk I've never taken before.  Maybe not!

Even from the beginning, I won't talk unless somebody walks on me to flicker a casual conversation.  Which means to say, I've struggled to move a toe and thus to take a risk is a laughable matter.  In high school, there were many instances when I can make a difference but I simply rebuffed all of them with all my might.  I could have been a campus writer had I not declined the summer training just because I was foolishly exemplifying my "low-profile" self.  A typical RC, a NOBODY, has been purposely aligning himself as much as possible to the "lowly" to the unpopular despite being aware of the fact that he could have been so f*ckin' elite had he only chosen to become one.  But a typical RC also has included in the package to be so damn confined in a box suffering perhaps from childish nervousness because of the fear that he might break in on top due to the overwhelming pressure he has never experienced at the first place.  And up to now, I'm too broke to extinguish the accumulated toll.

Contentment, actually the main thing I've been driving at, is a whirlwind of sorts.  I've just read the blog(I've just stumbled upon) of my pretty batchmate in high school whom I was never close to and I can say she's one cream of the crop.  Her features in our school paper can prove that out!  I don't have an idea as to how many students she had influenced through her write-ups but definitely her phenomenal construction of words made them awesomely relaxing to read.  In her blog, she emphasized how "fortunate" she has been in life at large.  For one, she studies in Ateneo.  Yet she's a little confused as to what kind of life that could somehow trigger her to rise above from her already elevated base.  So I guess, contentment is a matter of perspective and we all have our "own."  A beggar, who has no food to eat, would badly wish for the dump truck to arrive for him to search for a rotten food best enough for a pig as well as best enough for him.  On the other hand, a middle-class chick would not call a day "complete" without a Yellow Cab on her plate.  And you just can't compare both instances!  Every standpoint, no matter how "high" it seems to many, is LOW!  Which has moved me to write that there's no such thing as contentment.  Human desires are just limitless at face.  

In my perspective, it seems to me that my present platform has been a little shaky and I've realized I was put to this sort of TEST and I need NOT to escape from it no matter how intense it will become.  I admit I'm a little agitated by the quake but still composed.  And that's what I'll do for the rest of my life.  Contentment would still exist if you don't give a damn about being shaken.  It's therefore a "fallacy" to stress out that contentment doesn't exist since everybody has experienced a "quake" at some point.  Besides, every quake is merciful enough to stop in time.

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Contentment is, after all, simply refined indolence - Thomas C. Haliburton