What a symbolic yet tedious way to leave the past behind and just look forward to a great year ahead.  To move on, without a "clutter" brought by the past that is!  Well, I'm talking about my i.ph account, I shared to you in this entry that I was leaving Tabulas for I was easily tempted by the short and cool-looking domain of an i.ph blog.  Few days later being a certified indecisive fool, I decided NOT to pronounce Tabulas adieu.  Many days after until now, I've stayed blogging here in Tabulas.  But I had kept my i.ph account until I finally decided to purge the whole account goodbye.  To the cyber vacuum, for it wasn't practical for me to keep two blog accounts at the same time.  So I did quite a common sense by clicking the "Account" menu there but wtf?!  THERE'S NO DELETE ACCOUNT!  So I went to the forum, read a discussion there on how to close an i.ph account and found there what I was looking for.  NOT quite an instruction to track where the delete button is hiding since the administrator said there that there's still no automated process yet to delete one's account and advised anyone who's not happy keeping his i.ph account(hehe) to just send an e-mail to the help desk requesting for the purge out.  And I wasn't happy reading that out!  First and foremost, it took me a little too long finding the "delete button" somewhere in the "Account" menu from my control panel and from the moment I can't find where the hell it was, I had tried to accept the fact that the disheartening "RcDarang weirdly likes the smell of his own armpit" google search result will continue reeking the cyberspace.  So looking for something NOT existing drove me nuts.  I didn't let the "reeking" happen, of course.  BUT the process was tedious!  Imagine, sending an e-mail to the help desk requesting for the closure of my i.ph account!  Good thing, I didn't let my enraged emotion prevail over my innate gentleness.  Hehe.  So I wrote an e-mail straight and proficient.  Days later, my request was granted and there's no more "RcDarang weirdly likes the smell of his own armpit" google search result I wrote for my "About Me" from my now defunct i.ph account.  But all I can say is what the hell is wrong with you, yuppies, how can you not even create a simple "Delete Account" button?!  You're just like trying to build a relatively good house but after the door slammed close, the victim can't just get his a*s out!  So as I was saying that was really a tedious way to leave the past behind and just look forward to a great year ahead.  But where's the symbolic way?!  Don't mind about it hehe, I'm not in the mood today to widely preach a basic sense of symbolically leaving the past behind because it already has spoken for itself.

 I did a resolution from my previous entry NOT to write my New Year's resolution.  Cracking the code of that entry, I didn't frame my own since I just wouldn't give a flying damn about it.  So hopefully, I would just work my a*s off to achieve what I desire from little things like taking a bath everyday to big things like a 2-day interval of changing underwears.  Immediately going to another sappy note before I completely forget, while I was aimlessly looking at the fire works displayed on a bright midnight sky marking the start of a brand-new year, I instantly thought that damn I'm supposed to be a "batch 2007."  I kept on telling myself that a year-delay of graduation doesn't matter that much and these words have served to pat my back and ease my pain.  Almost everybody became a philosophical freak at the starting point of the year and so did I.  Sharing a little from what I did realize from that said point, sometimes our destination can't unveil an interesting story essentially about who we are as well as point out what the difference is, but our distinguishing journeys do!  They do tell a fascinating story and instantly point out the "difference" that separates a person who has an upbeat journey from the rest of the crowd.  My idol, former president Marcos became a lawyer, a plain destination but his experience of reviewing for the bar exams in jail and still managed to be a topnotch was one hell of a journey.  Unquestionably, his adverse journey made him great!  Ok so much for this sappy note hehe.

The most important thing I'm looking forward to this 2007 is a load of optimism, wisdom and of course love if I could have one within a 12-month span hehe.  And I'm too tired now to elaborate further, so let the survey below I tiredly answered speak about the year that was(2006) and the year that is(2007).

>> DERANGED SURVEY

For the nth time, although Sunday is the best time to study so comprehensively considering that our prelims week is THIS week aside from spending quality time with your family, I slacked the whole day and did absolutely nothing "productive" even taking a bath.  Truth is, I had planned to study this day but my runny nose accompanied by a little headache successfully delayed "my study" perhaps until God knows I become physically comfortable, free from the bothersome and frequent sneezing that I suspect I got from our dog that is.  So lesson learned, don't kiss a sneezing brute!  So because of that delay, I moved "my study" schedule by erasing the supposed plans for the days that have gone past and transferred them to the next days I so hope I could carry out on my planner given as a "freebie" by Com-Ach(an org).  As usual, my extremely concerned father went enraged and pierced his burning eyes on me, expressly annoyed at my dizzying "walking across the house while weirdly tossing a comb."  Especially the part when I told my father that I didn't pass the first IAC quiz(on Cost) and even though I tried to relieve him by saying that I barely tipped the passing mark, he still was so anxious about the worst possibility of studying my entire life.  But I somehow managed to calm him down by saying NOT to worry about me and our friendly argument stopped NOT because of what I said but mainly because he simply gave up due to my wordiness and I was crowned again the "victor" haha.  In conclusion of this first paragraph, my runny nose was still the lamest excuse NOT to study as well as the defeaning bark of our dog at little creatures(ex. mouse) that have always been irritating her for a reason only canines know why.

*wipe out slime coming out from my nose then I digress*

Okay, last night I had a good conversation with a blockmate after our IAC class, over a three bottles "each" of San Mig Light that we downed.  It started when, in the middle of the IAC discussion, I just joked about downing "two bottles" and those two words have been prevalently "clear" among us, men.  And I was surprised when he took my usual "joshing" seriously and accepted my invite.  So at that point, it was wholly set!  But, actually, as far as I can remember, he was the first one who joshed around the "two bottles" and the whole thing turned serious.  SO, we set a soothing ambiance in his apartment by playing his mostly classic sounds coming out from his quiet television speakers, our talk started, and knocked down two beers "each" during the first part of the session.  One of our talks revolved around, for an initiation, about beer philosophy haha.  And the rest were all about just anything so long as they shouldn't be mostly JUST casual.  Which has driven me to say, that I've finally found a person who's on MY wavelength which I could say only a precious few have passed through.  Congratulations to both of us since I believe I'm on his own wavelength too by letting me invade his seemingly million-dollar privacy with respect, surprisingly.  On the second part of our session, after eating meal(yeah, we had drunk before we ate dinner), we decided to go over the same sari-sari store near his apartment and bought our last beers(a beer each) and resumed our talk towards conclusion.  And then I began to open up a little bit by sharing to him about the girl I've died to know more about.  Okay okay, going up a notch outside mystery, she's a classmate!  Damn, I believe that was close haha   So about that topic, we both agreed about one thing and it's about how difficult it really is to START.  Just to share a strand from this topic we talked about and this really is an interesting one especially for the girls reading out there, it's inevitable for us, guys, to measure up.  Measuring up first a girl before we make a move.  The definition of measuring up here ISN'T exactly literal since I DID mean that measuring up according to my context usually includes asking myself first if I've even had a fighting chance for a girl(ironically though, I need first to measure myself up haha).  Because it's inevitable also for us guys despite our objective disposition and tough figure, to hide our collective skeleton of the closet called "inferiority complex," at least for this matter.  So yeah, it's been tough for us to make a move perhaps until we found out that a level-playing field has been laid upon us.  Yet we both agreed that a journey of a great mile wouldn't start with a leap.  So the Confucian "single step" is deviously the toughest we have to take otherwise we have to disregard the thought of taking the road.  God, even ending this topic up was tough hahaha.  Ok, so much for that!  One thing I've become aware of when the effect of alcohol starts creeping up my head is that I unwittingly tend to throw up(not the vomit) foolish ideas like this one:  "every music sets us a distinct MOOD the same way every person sets us a particular MODE."  <- Plain bull crap hahaha.   

Well at least for me hehe.  Despite criticisms about its validity which dorky statisticians have claimed about that nose-bleeding normal distribution on its result, who cares?  Even a measure of intelligence(like IQ test) has never been that accurate and so is this one.  For one, I believe I've had a couple in the classroom, which I believe, have the same personality as mine and yet we didn't wholly coincide according to the result.  So what was the test I took?  Ok, I took the MBTI(Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), well if you're too lazy to even hover on it hehe, I'll give a gist for you.  MBTI is another personality test which aims at identifying significant personal preferences.  Haha I believe I've just paraphrased it.  Anyway, it's amazing and at the same time a little freaky if the result of that test produced a 100% you.  But sometimes, it isn't at all interesting to know what the result would be for I humbly believe that one's self-concept would fully develop over time.  So one doesn't have to take a test like this to identify basically the specifics of who you are.  However, no matter how you've known yourself pretty well, it's still amazing, as I've said, to read those "qualities" written on the face of its comprehensive report.  Maybe(just maybe), proficient words on it have a great factor.  Believe me this time hehe.  Going on, MBTI has 16 unique types and if I weren't comprehending wrongly, one of its developers(Isabel Myers) preferred my type which is INFP hehe.  Since it wouldn't be "ergonomic" for me to type out my whole result, let me just share a good strand:

"The INFPs value inner harmony above all else.  Sensitive, idealistic and loyal, they have a strong sense of honor concerning their personal values and are often motivated by deep devotion to a cause they feel is worthy.  In day-to-day matters, they are usually flexible and tolerant, but they are very firm in their inner loyalties.  INFPs seldom express the intensity of their feelings, and often appear calm and reticent.  However, once they know you, they are warm and enthusiastic."

The last sentence(starting from the word however) is the MOST striking for me(pardon me for being a little conceited haha).  By the way, INFP means Introverts, Intuitives, Feelers, and Perceivers.  Again it's too tedious for me to write about each one, so for the love of my callused left fingers due to intense guitar-playing, do yours truly a favor by clicking the Wikipedia article of MBTI somewhere above(only if you're interested).  Thank you hehe   But let me emphasize the F one, yeah, the Feelers.  So here's the sharing.

Contrary to what most people around me think of yours truly that I'm a f*ckin' theorist who does nothing "vitalizing" but to THINK, sorry guys but my MBTI says I'm more of a feeler and NOT its opposite, thinker.  But don't you raise an eyebrow hehe, it's not that I don't think, of course I DO if required, but when Sir Cabrera's conflict of interest begins to escalate before me, I tend to be a feeler than to be a thinker.  The simple gist is this, a feeler(indirectly me haha) validates the feelings of people more than anything else.  In fairness to thinkers, they are needless to say the logical ones who, for instance, base their decisions on cause and effect relationship while feelers(indirectly me again hehe) tend to become a bit ambiguous.  That's why I wasn't so surprised the moment I saw, below my MBTI report, those INFPs' popular occupations and believe it or not, there's even NO occupation for INFPs related to business!  And very ironically I'm taking the most hard-core business course the planet has to offer haha.  Ok to share, just last Saturday, Pipo, Mai, Glai, and I went for some barbecue bonding not along Dapitan but somewhere near it.  In the process of jokingly dissing one another, Glai, all of a sudden, remarked her impression on me.  She said that every step I take has to be planned beforehand, maybe she was implying about my straightforward sense of direction rooted from my own underlying logic, and clearly wrapped it up by saying that there's always a logic of everything IN me.  And guess what, I just disagreed(but not totally).  So that really made me more of a feeler type.  But I didn't elaborate why because Mai kept on dissing me hehe.  And if I utter a profundity, she would just give me her patented funny look haha.  So, what is this blog for hehe?  So let me expound on that one.

Try to picture this out, if two introverted people are trapped in an island who both find comfort by being alone, would they survive NOT even walking closer towards each other?  Hell NO, right?  So what I really was saying is that there's no such thing as an ABSOLUTE introvert.  Imagine this out in the same island, both these introverts prefer listening over talking, come on, isn't it just silly to listen for NOTHING(because both of them prefer NOT talking)?!  Hehe it's impossible.  I guess what I was driving to say is that we should be "balanced" and if we can hardly find this "balance" within ourselves or we're just having a hard time, then we could find "balance" with the other and this can only be found in relationships(and yours truly prefers one-on-one relationship hahaha, what a creep).  Another, how does an overly organized person(an OC for instance) react on change?  Usually, his balancing plug, usually the flexible type(or simply the complacent slacker haha) can help him cope with it in a way.  Our "difference" indeed creates one perfect mix.  I sound like Dr. Phil and to those who've just agreed, f*ck off hehe   Going back to my "feeler emphasis," I admit however that writing this one doesn't give you a single clue that I'm a feeler type because this very piece aims to be logical and not ambiguous(if this entry is ambiguous for you, then I apologize but for me it isn't at all hehe) and obviously shows that I keep on considering myself as a feeler and YET everytime I write, I'm a thinker.  The trick is again "balance," that Chinese Philosophy of Yin and Yang notwithstanding how cliché it has been.  So here's my humble conclusion about me, being mostly a feeler:  If my father for instance in the future needs a liver transplant for he's been one alcoholic freak, I definitely wouldn't switch to my thinker self like this: IF I ain't have even a portion of my liver THEN it's not without any potential risk ELSE I'd be healthy by not being a donor.  <-  This is plain crap, of course, the logical if-then-else statement doesn't apply here and so my feeler self would naturally emerge and thus I'd offer my heart and not my mind haha.  So Pops if you'll be needing help about your potential liver failure, shut your snout and let me think of the output hahaha JOKE(a million times)!