On the face of it, there's nobody but me who has to be blamed for this grudging misery I, yours truly, suffered. I dismally flunked my first quiz on Advanced Accounting(Installment Sales) but quite surprisingly I really didn't feel aching inside. You know that aching thing when there's a piercing "pinch" sensation weakening the surrounds of your heart like the same thing you felt when you saw your first love strolling her cute ass around the playground playing with someone else. I don't know, when I got the result of that first quiz, I didn't feel so bad. I was like in a totally uncaring way, "What's freakin' NEW?!" Seriously, I want to find the reasons why I suddenly have become numbed at a supposedly upsetting situation and just faced this another school-related problem with careless sneers. One reason is that I left almost a "2-digit" items blank in my test paper. Meaning to say, from the moment I first laid eyes on the problems I left blank, I simply couldn't understand a thing from them and the only wise thing to do in a time-constrained scenario like this was to leave them blank for good. Another reason is I misfired. I had known, with my own sloppy standard, that I prepared well enough. In the first place, who was incredibly brave enough who didn't? But as I've said I misfired, another word is I, again, miscalculated. I didn't really expect that the first quiz would be that hard. But "difficulty" is a purely subjective thing, so there's nothing brutally hard for a person who wouldn't take things too lightly. Another reason but definitely the least reasonable of all is that the day before the first quiz, I worked on my writing project from morning until dusk that I only found time to review at late evening. Capitalized DAMN for that! I guess I wasn't prepared at all considering that I usually absented myself in Advanced Accounting classes and in my review I, again, didn't solve problems but I just read the book and relied on the illustrations from it. And since I took an extra mile by trying to solve the multiple choice questions, I assured myself I prepared well. But please go back to the previous reason for this matter. Point is, I didn't feel as bad as before(comparatively last school year) since I anticipated the result already and registered to mind my big shortcomings. It's pretty quite obvious that I didn't prioritize things well since I've perfectly respected my deadlines in an attempt to get respected in return(this is about my freelance work and this is also the reason why I had failed to update my blog as regular as possible). About my writing projects I attended to, they don't only concern the writing act itself. Believe me, it's "taxing" almost beyond human comprehension hehe. You would possibly revise the paper when the editor asks you to. But this isn't over yet, getting past with the editor is almost weightless since they'd only ask for minor revisions like mere formatting issues. But when the client himself asks for a revision, repeat after me: IT'S A BIG DEAL. The reason is quite obvious: The client is the one who will pay you. If he's dissatisfied with the content of your work for valid reasons of course, he would almost mercilessly ask you to redo the paper and it's possible that you'll not get paid even a penny for basically what you sacrificed(time and energy) despite the effort to produce a quality paper. Anyway, the client has always had the last say. I experienced it once in one writing task but good thing is I willingly revised the paper as to the client's request and got paid in the end(after sending a little threat to him with my professional-sounding words haha).

Again, it's all my fault. If only I had rejected the latest writing task I worked on among others, I could've nailed the test better. Buying a thick book on Accounting problems, solving them, and most of all, attending classes could have made that possible as well. After all, this f*ckin' freelancing doesn't cost as much as what I've been paving to realize my dream. So damn RC, repeat after me: PRIORITIZE FOR GOD'S SAKE! When I went to church yesterday which I had never done for a very long time, I just told God in an ironic humility, "Lord, I still believe that You still had my back." On one hand, I apologize for the lack of updates to my few valued readers hehe.

"Paperless!" Sir TL told the class about the manner of taking the test for a jokingly experimental and purely sluggish reasons and my heart pounded at a faster cadence. My face started to look awed. It's not that I can't keep up with the pace as the pages of the test scroll down while I progress from item to item on the run. It's more of a "I-struggle-everytime-I-look-at-the-whiteboard" kind of way. It was my first time to take 'for what was supposed to be like a major test' in a manner wherein you have to look at the whiteboard as the whole document of the test is being projected to it. I cursed abundantly, "Oh f*ck, I'm doomed to fail" and this was quickly appended by, "Oh, Intelligent Designer, come to my aid." We always take the test with a paper on the desk and I was surprised at why it has to be conducted that way, paperless and untraditional. I'm severely myopic, I've shared it here countless times. I would only become frustrated everytime I go to the ophthalmologist to have my eyes checked. I just don't have an idea why they(the ophthalmologists I've gone to) can't seem to refine my eyeglass prescription correctly that I usually end up still struggling to see distant objects in just a matter of few months after diagnosis. My myopic progression has been rapid for quite a long time now. The severe myopic consequence, in the form of eye floaters which sometimes waft in cobweb-like strands and obstruct my vision, has never failed to aggravate my  visual agony. This is also the reason why I've given fixed and aimless stares at the whiteboard because as I move my head up and down and my eyeballs roll, so do those annoying specks that sarcastically brighten up my days. Taking that test on Estate Tax recently was quite a toil. Whenever I switch glances from my yellow paper to the questionnaire casted through a projector towards the whiteboard, those annoying specks tussle around my eyeballs against the very law of gravity. "Mind over matter," I quipped. To have a powerful mind, to me, is damn prettier than to have an intelligent one. Since an intelligent mind can just pass the test with flying colors, but a powerful mind can pass it even with strings of gray hehe