Ok, I apologize for not greeting you all a "Happy Holidays" in my previous entry.  I guess I was too damn preoccupied at writing about my ideal girl who has never even been there hehe.  The qualities of my ideal girl weren't even exhaustive haha.  So belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all, especially to my dear readers whom I can count with my bare fingers hehe.  So what have I been up to lately?  I really did enjoy the holiday season, to tell you the truth.  I guess that was the best so far, to me.  After my last Christmas Party with my classmates, I witnessed at least one-fourth of the annual fireworks display at Paskuhan.  Just one-fourth of it because I was cornered to the very edge of the main building by so many people trying to get a better view of it.  And I only freakin' stand, ok, let me just say that I'm a little person hehe.  So there were many heads that obstructed my view.  Nevertheless, it's better to get a one-fourth view of it than none at all.  After my classmates and I had lined up for free food at Paskuhan like freakin' refugees, we ate our food on a gutter and proceeded to Bustos, Bulacan for another overnight bonding.  Ok, I really didn't enjoy much my overnight stay in Bulacan NOT because I didn't enjoy their company (this reason is just pathetic haha) but because I got a bad stomach ache.  I didn't feel like taking a dump that time but my stomach was just mysteriously painful that I could hardly even stand straight.  If it weren't for that, I could've been really hyper.  But I hope they did enjoy the overnight stay even in the absence of my usual cheery mode.  How can I make up for that?  God, I'm a bit troubled hehe.  But at least I tried to be with them and actually managed to chuck just a single funny punch line over our drinking session.  A single punch line?  Way way below my average haha.  But I chucked a lot of punch lines while traveling on our way to Bustos since my stomache pain was still tolerable on the van.

I believe that nothing is more rewarding than spending your hard-earned money on gifts during the holidays for someone and of course, for myself.  I mean, come on, I sacrificed a lot of things just to churn out words for a dough and I cannot even buy myself a new t-shirt and a necklace (hihi).  Isn't that a little unjust?  I mean, really, what's the point of having money and studying all these times if you're not going to spend it at the end of the day?  Even hard-core savers and calculating investors reserve their money for one thing: To spend it in the future.  And contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as a reckless purchase.  As long as you're happy at what you bought, even though it was impulsively acquired, then it's still a wise buy.  Ok, I'm being too carried away haha.  So this is just one of the reasons why my whole holiday season was a blast overall.  I definitely feel so fulfilled deep in my heart everytime I think about that all those gifts I gave myself and others were literally bought by every sentence I typed in my freelance writing gig.  After all, the season of joy wouldn't be joyful without the act of giving, would it?  The last purchase I bought myself was a relatively expensive wallet.  It cost me at almost 400 bucks.  Well, don't get me wrong, I'm a certified cheapskate even to the point that I would decline the invitation of a friend to accompany him/her at Starbucks.  And to me, a 400-peso wallet is a bit expensive but to others, I really don't think so.  It would just be a normal monthly purchase for a call center agent.  That wallet just really caught my floater-filled eyes.  Its camouflage design was just sleek.  When I got home, I immediately scrutinized its interior.  I sighed, "Pretty ordinary."  But except for one thing I deeply noticed.  You might have known that I'm a pretty reflective person and sometimes a million-dollar thought would just come to me in an instant.  Well, what I noticed on my wallet is just another product of my reflective thought hehe.  There are four slots on my wallet designed to hold a card.  So the design basically makes my wallet good enough to hold four cards.  I actually have many cards but almost all of them are not really important.  Those unimportant cards are just privilege cards from the various organizations I joined that I really don't use.  Spiritual counselors always say that the important things in life are often found out inside the person's wallet.  Well, I couldn't agree more.  My new wallet is nearly empty, as of this moment.  In fact, my wallet is still too roomy for those things currently kept by it.  Those things just include: Bills, coins, and one ATM card where my savings are deposited.  So there are three card slots that remain to be filled and I began to reflect what potential cards could be inserted in those vacant slots for this year.  Coincidentally, those three potential cards actually mirror a great year ahead of me.  What are those??

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That you most probably don't know...

The prelims of my final semester is exactly two days away from now.  I haven't started yet.  I still have one lesson to read and more review materials to practice.  I'm a bit pressured 'cause I haven't really passed a single test.  But why am I still writing this entry?  Well, I'm very much aware that I'm killing time but how am I supposed to study if I'm not in the mood?  Truth is, I'm a little bit moody or inconsistent when it comes to taking up responsibilities.  I rarely blog in a month NOT because I don't have interesting stories to share but because I'm sometimes not in the mood to story-tell.  The same thing goes with studying.  Maybe because it's my final semester, I could probably graduate 4 months from now and I'm perhaps getting too excited at this possibility.  What I'm exactly feeling is that I'm prematurely jumping on that idea and thereby becoming too negligent for taking up responsibilities.  Talking about forgetting the present and just thinking about the improbable future hehe.  I guess what I'm doing is wrong.  But it's not really complacency or even being a smug, it's, again, the MOOD.  Sometimes, I feel so unmotivated.  Although I've shared many times through this blog that I really don't enjoy the course I'm taking, I'm not in my first year or second year in college to get the time I need for a shift.  Haha!  That was purely laughable.  I'm now in my final semester for God's sake and I have already traveled a long and "tiring" way.  I'm so weird but why am I feeling this way?

Being a 22-year-old has a psychological influence on me.  I didn't feel this way when I was 21.  Even though they're just a year apart, in my view, they're different.  I feel like I just time-warped.  There are many things a usual 22-year-old should do which I'm not doing.  Although I earn enough money and I will graduate in few months' time, there's something inside me that keeps pressuring me. But I've just shared that and that's not the real point of this entry haha.  I'm a JOKE!  Since it's probable that I'll graduate and even become a CPA, I'm a bit afraid at the high possibility that I'll NOT enjoy what I'd possibly be doing for the rest of my life as what I'm currently feeling right now being an Accounting dork.  In other words, I MIGHT not enjoy my future profession!  So the title of this entry is what I really want to do in life that you probably don't know or you might be surprised of knowing.  So here they go:

Contrary to what many people know about me, I'm pretty sure, deep in my heart, that I'll not pursue LAW.  It was once a dream but for now, it's no longer mine.  Of course, avid readers of this blog are very much aware of the fact that I visualize myself as a professional writer.  In particular, I want my writings to get published somewhere in the future.  But you have already known that, haven't you?  So let me disregard that one.

One of the things I want to do in life is to sing.  I want to become an easy listening singer in particular.  My voice may not be strong enough for rock songs but I discovered that I can reach the highest notes in a song "Your Guardian Angel" by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus not in falsetto but in FULL.  So becoming a rockstar would do but for a limited number of songs only haha.  I don't necessarily aim to be popular.  That's the reason why I haven't tried to join singing contests even in the baranggay level.  But I definitely want to sing before a large audience which I already did once during the general assembly of a school organization.  To tell you the truth, I had NOT been aware that I've got a little talent until I received a favorable feedback from my friends and even from the officemates of my Pops in many karaoke sessions.  But I still have with me this shy disposition.  That's why one of my friends told me that I've got a hidden talent the moment she heard my voice for the first time.  But I still can admit that my voice isn't as remarkable as Gary V's or other professional male singers'.  Since I've convinced myself that I'm too shy and my voice isn't that remarkable, to become a f*ckin' rockstar remains a crazy dream haha.  

In a more realistic level, another thing I want to do in life is, of course, to practice the Accounting profession.  It's been a tradition (it seems to me) for new CPAs to work for an auditing firm right after passing the board exams.  Since I've already mentioned earlier that I MIGHT not enjoy my future profession, it'd be safe for me to say that TO AUDIT might not also be a satisfying work to do.  I have a fair knack for Economics.  I really enjoy this particular field of study.  In a similar way, I can say that I enjoy Management Accounting more than Auditing Problems.  So if there would be a choice for me, I'd like to work for a mutual fund and become a trustworthy financial consultant.  I'm an ODD person, I know, 'cause I generally hate Math but in some aspects, I love it.  In other words, I may hopefully become a CPA but it doesn't mean that I'd like to be stuck in the detailed and systematic operations of an audit for the rest of my life.  I just want to give my interest (which is Economics) a fair shot of my future profession.  It'd actually be my strategy to put a little spice on a tasteless cuisine called audit.  But please don't get me wrong here, even the most monotonous work can be fulfilling.  It's just a matter of perspective.  Our differences in perspective should NOT be a ground for misunderstanding.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not really into auditing.  It's one of the things in this world that I suppose I wouldn't enjoy doing.  Believe me when I tell you that I will even have the courage to say that in the face of the one who will interview me.  But I can utter the word "however" very quickly after that haha.           

Ok, my time is up.  I'm now hungry and I have to study.  I'd like to include more things that I want to do in life but I believe this entry is again getting long.  So bye for now hehe.  

Ok, great, NAUBUSAN PA KAMI NG BIGAS!  Bullcrap.                                                  

I've got a little confession to make.  Aside from my necessary overconfidence and a face that looks like teenage Rizal's, I could also say that I'm proud of where I hailed from.   In other words, I'm proud of my ancestry.  Not necessarily of my broad Filipino ancestry but specifically of my Warayan ancestry.  You might have known that due to sheer twist of fate, my father and mother came from the 'same' big town of Basey, Samar.  They've even had a very interesting love story worth sharing.  My mother was kind of an uptown girl then, a petite chick who has a fair complexion which is so uncommon in any rustic province.  When you get to see my mother, you will not even believe your very eyes that she's already 51.  My father, on the other hand, belonged to the "modest" and the "lowly" who sported an unkempt Afro hair and the only thing he can brag about is his juicy brain.  My father, I can say, is my mirror image in countless ways.  They were definitely opposites and that's basically the reason why they've got a love story that is good enough to be aired on primetime television.  The province of Samar has never been that civilized even up to this very day.  It still remains a typical Philippine province wherein agriculture is the main source of livelihood.  In fact, there are only a few modern establishments there and one of them is the Internet cafe owned by my cousin, kuya Dandy Wong whose father monopolized almost all major businesses.  Everytime I go back to my town of Basey which I can aptly call a home, I feel like I'm a king who's just come back from a long royal trip haha.  I mean, come on, if you were me, you would've noticed that all eyes were ON YOU.  You can even overhear their whispers, "He came from Manila, the son of blah blah" or "OMG, he's f*ckin' gorgeous."  Ok, I made that 'gorgeous thing' up wahaha.  So I can say that it feels like home 'cause I can admit that even those uncomfortable stares were flattering.  I miss those times when my cousins and I were playing Taguan.  And also that pleasant smell every morning.  Very rustic *sighs* what a life!  One of the many things that I take pride being a Warayan is that the people there are carefree.  You can barely see a person who wears a frown.  I guess every single province in this country is composed of lighthearted people who seem to have NO troubles in life.  It's a bit tranquil.

Although the life in there is generally impoverished, whenever I come back home, I'm royally and warmly treated.  The main reason is that most of my relatives there are not living a hand-to-mouth existence.  My mother's clan is a rich bunch.  For one thing, my maternal grandfather became the vice-mayor of the town.  My great maternal grandfather was even the architect of the landmark church in there.  My uncle, my mother's older brother, is the pioneer of the banig industry, a lucrative undertaking which the Basaynons (people of the town) are well-known of.  My father's clan, on the other hand, is relatively poor.  But my father's parents are typical Filipino parents who could strive hard and venture into a lot of small scale businesses just to get their children a diploma.  And my paternal grandparents sure succeeded when they finely molded one of their sons into a big-time CPA-Lawyer and I'm talking about my father.  Although my father or generally US are suffering from a major financial breakdown as of this point, I admire his attitude towards adversity.  Before becoming a lawyer and even before becoming a CPA, he had already experienced many trials being once a probinsiyano wandering around the city.     

I have loved my roots and it was pretty evident on that notebook, when I was a child, wherein I drew a family tree of both sides, trying to trace my genealogy.  Warayans are also known for being brave.  And I can say that I've got that courageous personality.  I'm not afraid of failure, rejection, hardship, and even death.  What I really want to say all these times is I'll go back home, throw a party, and celebrate with all of you especially my cousins after this storm I'm experiencing right now finally calms down.     

Damn, why does it have to end this mushy?  Haha.                                                              

My experience on the fx yesterday was too damn terrifying to let pass.  So let me share it to you hehe.  Ok, I wasn't held up or hugged by a strange homosexual.  But for me, what I just experienced on the fx yesterday was AS frightening.  I was on my way home and the fx that I rode on was struggling its way out of the usual traffic at España.  Then all of a sudden, a jeepney overtook our lane and it hit the fx's 'right' side mirror causing the mirror to flip forward and eventually crack.  Of course, the fx driver stepped out and began to confront the 'accused' jeepney driver.  I couldn't hear what they were arguing since I was inside the fx.  But I could see through the look on the fx driver's face that he was damn enraged.  While the fx driver was walking towards the damage to check it, the jeepney smoothly dashed away.  But the fx driver got the jeep's plate number.  So there seems to be no problem at first.  But not until the fx driver dialed a pal through his cellphone and I could clearly hear what he said to his pal verbatim as I was sitting along the driver's seat.  He said quite fiercely (but not in English), "Dude, a jeep just hit me and the m*therf*cker ran away!"  So there seems to be no 'appalling' problem for the second time.  But not until he called his pal once again but this time he said, "Dude, if I catch that m*therf*cker, I would gun him down!!!  That m*therf*cker did get on my nerves."  Initially, I hadn't given a hoot at what the fx driver just exclaimed.  I'd thought, at first, that his term "gun down" was just a jargon that he's commonly used when talking, at least, to his pal.  But I was MISTAKEN!  He borrowed my pen to write the jeep's plate number down.  And right after he returned my pen and said "thanks" he picked up his gun and cocked it (kinasa)!  I don't know if I was hallucinating but I'm 85% sure that I heard a gun being cocked.  To tell you the truth, my heart was beating so fast that very moment and I couldn't even recall when was the last time I felt that way before.  Ok, before you even conclude how freakin' sissy I am, let me just lay out my paranoid reasons why I suddenly got terrified.  But first of all, let me say that I HAVE already seen a gun and even cocked it 'cause my father owns one.  Ok, we're clear on that hehe.  

One reason why I suddenly got terrified at that instance is because I haven't witnessed a crime scene in my entire life.  What if he caught the 'accused' jeepney driver and then abruptly shot the latter down?  Wouldn't that be a terrifying sight to you?  Plus the possibility that I might testify as a witness before the court AGAINST the fx driver who impatiently put justice on his hand and shot the jeepney driver down.  What if that fx driver had a residual brain at that time, he might have threatened me at gunpoint just to clean up his act.  For one thing, I was sitting along him.  For another, I was already thinking, at that very moment, ridiculous thoughts of how to flee out of the fx.  Well, in case, he is a mind-reader, you know.  Second reason why I suddenly got terrified is because I badly want to live.  This year, you might have already known, is supposed to be the pinnacle of my life.  But good thing I didn't see a flashback of my childhood days particularly that occasion when I drank the orange juice of my cute girl classmate without permission (yes, I was a bully then).  But in order to slow down my absurd thoughts of death at that time, I channeled my odd thinking into something a little comical:

I just pictured myself being the fx driver's sidekick on an action-packed movie trying to chase down a bad guy.